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What would u do?

Ok. For christmas last year my DH family drew names for the adults. Everyone bought a gift for every child. This year since money is tight i suggested we not do gifts for the adults just the children. Well everyone agreed except my DH sister. So they said we would still exchange gifts for the adults. What would u do? Still exchange gifts or just say sorry we can't do it this year and let the rest of them go ahead? I don't want to seem like a scrooge but it's going to be tough to get the kids something as it is. Thanks for ur advice!

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Asked by Nichole2270 at 1:06 PM on Nov. 10, 2009 in Holidays

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Answers (12)
  • Just ask to be left out of the hat...

    Answer by bumblebeestingu at 1:08 PM on Nov. 10, 2009


    Answer by MIXED at 1:12 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • tell them to do there own thing and you will just buy for the kids.. dont let them pressure you into a bind..

    Answer by ArlieBeeMee at 1:13 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • What fun is the exchange if you are spending money that you don't have to get a gift you don't want. I would stick to your initial plan and only buy for the kids, let whoever wants to exchange names exchange them. My DH gets laid off every winter and depending on the work season the year before we don't always have the money to buy for everyone just to get a gift in return. It has made the holiday less stressful for us not to have to do this.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:16 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • This is a sticky situation, b/c spending $ you can't afford to spend is no fun, but neither is getting a gift and not giving one, and neither is offending anyone in your family. Obviously you shouldn't even be in this situation b/c everyone should have agreed. I think you have every right to stick to your plans for no gifts. But you might want to try to be creative and diplomatic to reach a better agreement instead of this lose-lose one. What about proposing that you only do handmade gifts? What about asking if they'd like to do a white elephant kind of thing, where everyone brings an unused gift that they have at home and you draw numbers to see who gets what - kind of like a grab bag? What if you had a big dinner and each family brought one dish as a "gift"? Hm, what else? How about "gift cards" for errands or favors (like the best cook offering to make a meal, the crafty mom offering to make a scrapbook, etc)?

    Answer by FelipesMom at 1:42 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Simply tell them it's tight for you this yr and to leave your names out of the hat....

    Answer by gmasboy at 2:52 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Christmas is a time of giving and not receiving! So no one should EXPECT anything! If you are only wanting to get something for the kids then that is what you do! If you are crafty or thrift maybe you can do something like that might be cheaper! Maybe you could take a family portrait and frame them and give them to the parents, bake goodies for the kids, or offer the adults a night of baby sitting! Something else you can consider is going to and search your area for gift certificates, right now they are running a special 80% off enter code ENTREE at the check out. A few weeks ago I got $225 worth of certificates for $19! They are good for a year from purchase date! Something to think about!

    However you need to give what you feel you can and should do, if this means kids only then do that! Someone once said if you want to show me on my kids!

    Good Luck and Merry Christmas!

    Answer by Rebecca727 at 3:27 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Maybe you could bake some cookies or pies, or make bath salts in a jar type gifts. I wouldn't let them pressure me into buying something!! Be strong. Christmas shouldn't be about debt!

    Answer by gunny at 6:41 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Its really selfish of your DH sister to plan the gift exchange around her wants alone. Tell them you will be buying for the children but not the adults because you cannot afford to. I did this one year and after everyone heard I wasn't they started saying they weren't either. It worked out fine. I do presents for all of the adults. A photograph in of them and my children in a frame from the dollar tree, cookies or something small. Everyone gets a gift but I don't go broke!

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • xmas is for kids and it should be focused on the kids but if i were you just don't minchen anything about what gifts you'll give or won't give them what you can so like whatever name you draw from the hat do like a cookie mix and decorate the jar all cute with instructions on how to prepare them or do a pancake mix for breakfast the next morning in a jar with a jug of syrup so all they have to do is mix it together. I know alot of ppl in my family have done this and it's a nice gift it's thoughtful and from the heart and shows love I've even done a basket with all the spaghetti dinner fixings inside the basket (excluding the hamburger of course) but like I say you do what you can do and no more and who cares if the person thinks less of you and if they do they are selfish to begin with. I hope all goes well :)

    Answer by chica679 at 12:29 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

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