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advice needed...

i hate feeling like im back in this hole again......a few months ago hubby and i had some trouble bc he went on a business trip was seeing his daughter and wound up pretty much dating his ex-wife while he was there for business (around everyone who knows me, and yet i was the bad guy for leaving for a few days according to his coworkers)..anyway, things got better..well the other day i added a an old high school friend on my facebook (he tried to get somewhere, but i stopped it and booted him bc all he wanted was sex..but we remained friends), so the hubbs got furious and deactivated my facebook and myspace (thats the only way i have of keeping in touch with some of my friends that have moved off)..he accused me of cheating (i don't have the time and my dd is at my hip when someone new is around) and didnt want me to have my girls night that had been planned for a month...so to get to the story...i checked his myspace and face

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:49 PM on Nov. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • are you going to finish? what did you find on his myspace?

    I would be LIVID if my husband deleted something of mine. If he is such a big baby, give him your password.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:53 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • book today, and i'm a little mad and hurt...i've been begging for another baby and he finally agreed to it..but he's done nothing about insurance..he sells it so i said he'd have to handle it since he knows more about it than i do...and it turns into a fight every time anything's mentioned about it, he always tells me that he's busy that i'll have to do it. well i'm busy too...i watch kids at my mil's everyday, on top of driving an hour to and from...and the house and my dd are completely up to me to keep up..he wont lift a finger..it's like im not even working again...so anyway, he posted on his facebook that he doesn't get why his wife turns it into a stupid fight, he doesn't want to be a professional baby maker...we have one child together, and he has a 5 yr old from a prev....so anyway i'm hurt about that, he did agree to have another one...i feel like he's getting my hopes up and then crushing them bc he can....on his mys
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • What do you mean by "pretty much dated" his ex wife. I don't get that. Did he go work somewhere where his exwife & daughter lives & spent time with them?

    I would have went on my girls night...did you go? You are an adult, & you do not need to be punished. Hopefully you laughed in his face & went on your girls night out....do not let him control you, or "punish" you by not letting you go out.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:56 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • You guys have issues and you want another baby with this guy!?!?!?!?!? you need to figure out what you really want as well.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 4:00 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • myspace he has some messages from a chick he was really flirting with around the time we split for a few days..i didnt know about that until i was at my moms for a day...anyway the message says something about her status and how its always depressing...and the somewhere he deleted something (i guess) bc the last message from her said "i think i owe you an apology, you know what for so all i'll say is sorry...am i over reacting by thinking somethings going on again?! all of this was a week after he deactivated all my stuff....he was perfect when all my stuff was active...on his facebook, he's not even married to me, he's just married. it'll cause an all out war if i try to bring it up to him bc he has to have that stuff for work, so he cant delete it...he doesn't have to have any of it except his work email...and he has ex-es on his friends, his ex wife being one of

    to the first answer-er, he had my passwords to everything.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:00 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • It's VERY rude of him to be sharing that personal info on myspace & facebook for veryone to see. I would not yell, or get mad...but i would say that it is very disrespectful of him to be sharing that kind of info with the world. Tell him to talk to YOU about it, not the web. You guys seem to have communication issues. Go & start up your facbook page again...if he can have one, so can you. If he does not want to have more children, then you either need to accept that, or move on. You cannot force a man to make more children if that is not what he wants. Maybe it sounded good to him in the beginning, but people change. He may want other things out of life.

    Besides being a couple, you guys really need to be FRIENDS. Without a good, respecful freindship, you cannot have a respecful, good relationship with your husband. Talk....tell him everything, & be sweet about it. Guys HATE any attacking, they close up.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:03 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • MommaRox4683: i know what i want..and yes i want another baby...unfortunately, the situation happens to suck and i'm finding these things as soon as i think we get better...

    samurai_chica: dated his ex means he was wih her pretty much every waking minute..took her to all the functions that took place, where his boss and the bigger people met her. (and not to mention she's one of his top friends on his myspace)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:08 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • You shouldn't be friends with anyone online who makes your spouse uncomfortable- it's just not a good idea. You should NEVER post negatively about your spouse on Facebook or Myspace, ever. I would have been hurt by what he said, too. Your husband should not decide whether you get to go out or not, and you shouldn't have to beg for another baby. I would say it is time to reevaluate what you want in your life, what he wants, and whether or not there is ground for a compromise between the two of you that can give you both what you want, or as much of what you want that you can live with.
    MaryMW

    Answer by MaryMW at 4:13 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I agree with samurai_chica...start a new page.

    But better yet...rather than putting all this stuff on the internet...TALK about it face to face.

    As to the insurance...take care of it yourself. Leave things undone till that is done...preferably HIS LAUNDRY. Do what HAS to be done. Picking up the house does NOT qualify unless we're talking fire and health hazards.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 4:14 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • but the thing is, i dont want to live in disgust (health matters, of course it clean as far as that)...i've tried it...the only thing he does is not come home til later...if i roll over and play dead, im too submissive...if i stand up and fight, im being too independent..im always the one that;s to blame..he's said sorry to me maybe ten times since we've so much as been together...there's no happy medium.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

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