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catching up with the girl from the past? details continued

hubby is catchiing up with his old friend. they had a flirty relationship but they never went anywhere with it. Now 4 years after high school she found him via internet. he got my permission to talk to her as we do mutually with any past friends of the opposite sex. So he was telling her about his new life, wife, kid on the way, job, finished school, etc. well she has tried to deflect from his family life, talk about how she broke up with her bf of 4 years,she even wrote this about back in high school.
"when I think about those days it makes me mad cause I had to stop talking to you cause of Jon's jealous soo wasn't worth it! The things you learn when it's too late!!"
I dont really know what this means, what would you think?

me and hubby have talked, i told him to be aware of her intentions because i dont think they r honest. he has agreed to stop all contact upon my request but i dont know if its necessary.


Asked by Anonymous at 4:04 PM on Nov. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • I guess this is a wait and see kind of issue. She may have been being friendly and honest, or she may have been hinting at something. If she knows he's married with children she should know well enough he's taken. If she shows signs of wanting to be more than friends, I'd say definitely tell him to stop talking to her. Or better yet YOU go out to lunch with them- if she objects or seems weird about it, she might have ulterior motives.

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 4:07 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • He doesn't sound like he was ready for marriage.

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 4:05 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • And how can MommaRox say he wasn't ready for marriage? He asked your permission! We do the same thing in my house. I want to know who is friends of the opposite sex are. It's not that I don't trust him- I don't trust them.

    Answer by Annabel1809Lee at 4:08 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I do not agree with mommarox4683... he sounds mature and respectful of your relationship. If you trust, let him continue a friendship and just watch him carefully. Keep the lines of communication open and if she oversteps her boundaries it sounds like your husband knows it'd need to be cut off immediately. I think messages over the internet are fine, but meeting up for day dates are absolutely not okay in my book. Like I said, if you trust him then it shouldn't be an issue whether or not he has a friend that's female just over the internet.

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 4:11 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I would not worry too much about it. Obviously, you have access to his messages. Keep checking them, it might be totally innocent. I did have a boyfriend in highschool that made me drop my guy friends, & i totally regretted it. So, i can relate to that issue with this chick.

    It's totally normal for you to wonder about her intentions, woman are sly & sneaky. But, your husband may not give a rats ass. He might just be curious about what she's been up to. I'm the devil's advocate here, because i had MANY platonic male friends in high school & fiance always wines us being facebook friends, thinking that they all secretly want to get with me. Totally LAME! But, i do understand my SO's worry. If it was the other way around, i would be nervous too. Post lots of stuff on his page, & write on his wall how much you love him & how much fun you have with him. This will throw her off a bit.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:13 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Also, MOST of the time (facebook fanatic here) when you become friends with someone from your past, you may shoot eachother a couple notes in the beginning, then it dies off. They could just be catching up....and she might leave him alone after a few messages. Just keep a good eye out.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:14 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • It's a good thing that he agreed to stop communicating with her. My friend and I were just talking about how some women go after men even if they know they are in a relationship because they see it as a "challenge." Her comments def sound as if she is not interested in his new life, but wants to relive the old days.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:23 PM on Nov. 10, 2009


    Thanks ladies, we had a talk about it because he asks me to sit with him and read the messages with him because he's unsure about her intentions as well and he wants my mind to be at ease that he isnt writing anything out of the norm.
    I also told him I dont want to feel like I cant trust him so if she steps out of line then he needs to take care of it with out me having to tell him.

    He's a good man which is also what she keeps repeating to him...bleh...LOL but he really is and that is why I worry when other women seem suspicious because who wouldnt want him? seriously? but I agree with anon, some women love the challenge and as a married woman you have to stand up for whats yours. so to speak

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:42 PM on Nov. 10, 2009