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SIL Question

So my sis-in-law is 35 and is happily re-married to her 50yr old H of 5yrs. They consist of a very blended family with his 3 already grown children, and her 2 kids ages 10 and 12. Recently, the first grandchild was born to her H 20yr old son and his GF. They both attend college and work, so my SIL offered to have the mom and baby move into their home. The baby daddy doesn't want to be with his GF right now, so lives elsewhere. Since this baby was born, my SIL is acting like she's the mom of this baby. She and her H never had kids together, so my hunch is that she's fantasizing that this baby is the closest thing she'll have a connection to her H with. Is this normal behavior, or is she going overboard?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Nov. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (4)
  • Well, maybe she is going alittle over board, but really who is it going to hurt? The baby is her grandchild, and the child will benefit from having all that grandma love. It will help her and her dh bond over this child.
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 5:13 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • As long as she doesn't overstep any boundries with the baby's mom, then I see no harm in her being a loving grandmother to the baby. But that is up to her and the mom to work out.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:01 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I would say that you could be right. Or you could be wrong. The good news is you don't have to worry or get involved. If the mother of this child has concerns then it is up to her to address any specific issues she has. The other thing is that almost everyone LOVES babies. And grandparents really love their grandchildren. Most grandparents I know say it is so much better being a grandmother than it ever was being a parent. Congratulations to her on the new addition to her family. How wonderful she is taking in her child during this transition and time of need for them. How wonderful she is loving this child. No child can ever have too many people to love them. So let her brag, babysit, buy tons of toys, and have fun being a grandma. Let her love this child because this baby deserves her love and attention. In order to preserve peace bite your tounge and smile. Say, "ooooo....he's so cute!" and leave it at that.

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:41 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • It's not healthy behaviour to take over the parenting role of an already existant parent, but it is natural for that to happen. It's natural for someone to take over the parenting role of a child/infant even when the biological parent is in the child's life. Like I said, it isn't healthy for that to happen as she's building a relationship with the child that isn't her's to build. However, if the parent isn't intervening or doesn't seem concerned, then it's not your place to get involved.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 7:08 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

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