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Does anyone have any kind suggestions?

A year and a half ago, I was at a party with a friend. I remember very little of the party because someone slipped GHB into my drink and I was raped. I am now getting involved with a guy for the first time since it happened. Things are getting pretty serious and we started to have sex. But I freaked out. I panicked. I couldn't breathe. And now I feel I owe him an explanation but I'm not sure how to tell him or if it will change things between us. I just don't know what to do.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 5:07 PM on Nov. 10, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Tell him what happened, honesty is the best policy and his reaction to it will give you a big clue as to what kind of man he is. This is something that needs to be told spoken and brought out in the open as part of therapy for you to deal with.
    older

    Answer by older at 5:18 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • When something like that happens to you, you can't just pretend it didn't happen. You need to deal with it, and get some counseling. At the very least talking about it does help. If this new guy is serious about you, and wants a seriuos relationship with you, then you have to tell him. If he really cares about you he'll stay around and help you learn to accept it and deal with it.
    robyann

    Answer by robyann at 5:10 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Tell him... but not in the bedroom. Do it in a nutral setting. If this gets to the point of being a life time partner he HAS to know. Better do it now. If he leaves he wasnt a quality man to begin with.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I think you have to tell him at least a little or he will think it is about him. I've been through something similar and I know it is hard moving on. If he's a decent guy he will understand and give you a little time to adjust, and if he's not you haven't really lost anything. If you don't have anyone to talk to call your local rape crisis center and ask them where you can go for help. GL!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Please see a therapist. It sounds like you may be suffering from PTSD. Planned Parenthood can help you find someone: www.plannedparenthood.org

    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 5:41 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Unfortunately I can tell you that I know exactly what you're going through. I'm so sorry that you've experienced such a horrific event. As others have suggested, seek counseling. You may have PTSD from it and it is not easy to deal with alone. Also as someone suggested, talk to your SO outside of the bedroom about your experience. Start small and tell him only what you feel comfortable saying and when the time is right to disclose everything, you'll know. If he judges you, or if things change between the two of you, he's not worth your time dear. Best of luck and lots of hugs to you. I know I'm a stranger but if you need to talk or vent, please don't hesitate to message me. That's the only reason I haven't posted this anonymously. I know it's a difficult thing to discuss, but I've found it helps when you talk to som
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 5:44 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • eone that knows where you're coming from
    nicolemstacy

    Answer by nicolemstacy at 5:45 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I'd just tell him.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:51 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

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