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Are you going to "spoil" your children?

I hear so many moms saying not to spoil your children & buy them everything they want or they wont appreciate things & learn to do for themselves. But I disagree. I have friends whos parents didnt have much money, and they were so used to living that way, that they didnt strive to make more money when they grew up. But I always got whatever i wanted, and all my bills are paid for me until i graduate college. Since ive always had whatever i wanted, i want to continue to live that way, and i want that for my children, so that has givin me more motivation to graduate college & have a career that i will be able to do that. What do you think?

 
PURPULbutterfly

Asked by PURPULbutterfly at 5:09 PM on Nov. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 23 (17,427 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • I think that your parents did not spoil you in all aspects at some point they taught you about responsibility and self motivation. Also cause and effect and that you are not entitled to anything. Where as many parents who out rightly "spoil" their children do not teach them these things and this turns into a big problem for some children. Now I was poor growing up and when I got older I knew I wanted more and did not want to spend my whole life struggling and that is why I am in college going for a bachelors but eventually will finish my doctoral degree. I have argued with my husband about "spoiling" and I believe as you parents must of that a child can have a lot of toys and money but if you teach them about being respectful and cause and effect and about self motivation and ambition that they can still be well mannered and fully functioning adults someday.
    PsychMommie

    Answer by PsychMommie at 5:15 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I think, that despite always getting what you wanted, that your parents succeeded in teaching you the value of a dollar. It's OK to have things. But you have to realize that to get them you earn them. Work hard, get a good education and a good job. Some parents just give their kids everything and then the kids expects it. Or the opposite side you mentioned.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:12 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I dont necessarly "spoil" my children. But they do get small toys when we feel like they have been good and haven't gotten anything in a few weeks. If my kids ask for a toy they usually get it, maybe not at that moment, but they eventually get it for a birthday present or christmas gift. My kids are 3 and 2. So they don't ask for much, or they ask for things that don't cost more than 10 dollars the majority of the time. I plan on teaching my kids the value of a dollar, by having them do "chores" along with me and my husband, and giving them an allowence.
    Decker

    Answer by Decker at 5:22 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • The majority don't turn out like you. You aren't your children's character personality either, so you won't know that until they are getting on in age. But you do what you want and see how it turns out.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:51 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I think it is a parent's right to provide how they see fit within their means. There is no shame in not having money to purchase "extras" and nor is there no shame in having money to provide them with more "things" either. The only thing I would want to add is that by giving your child everything means also holding out at times. The gift of wishing and wanting, hoping and praying for a special toy is a wonderful gift to give our children. Even the gift of disappointment is a gift to let our children experience. While they may experience having nice material items they will experience disappointments and hurts. One way to teach them about wishing/wanting and hoping is to let them wish and wonder if they are going to get that special toy. Sometimes they do and the joy of fulfillment in our children is worth the wait for them and for us. It is also okay to say NO even when we can well afford it - because they need to have

    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:34 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • the opportunity to experience heartbreak, frustration, and disappointment in a safe place. You can say you are giving your children the best you can provide when you buy all their desires...but are you really giving them everything if you never let them experience wishing and waiting?
    frogdawg

    Answer by frogdawg at 8:36 PM on Nov. 10, 2009