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Do you think we as parents are responsible for financing our children's college tuition? And if you have a daughter required to pay the wedding when they get married?

When I went to college, I had to find my own finance resources. As far as when I got married, dh and I went to justice of the peace to do it. I wanted a nice wedding but since we couldn't afford it and none of our parents were willing to help, we did it ourselves.

Now with my kids, I will try to help them as much as we can w/o trying to dip into our savings (retirement fund). As far as wedding goes, I don't think we should be responsible for it if they want a grand wedding. What are your thoughts?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 6:32 PM on Nov. 10, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (43)
  • My parents had a great compromise. They would pay for exactly half. I was responsible for the other half, but any scholarships could be applied to my share.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:35 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Sorry, me again. No I think paying for grown children's weddings is ridiculous. You're an adult and on your own. Pay for your own damn wedding and learn to live within your means.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I agree I had to find my own money for college and we went to the jp to get married. I dont think its my responsibility but i will help with college if i can without putting myself in a hole to do it!!

    Answer by elananme at 6:36 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • DH & I will pay for college for all 4 of our kids if it kills us.

    Answer by Gealach at 6:41 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I paid for my kids education because we could, but if we couldn't other arrangements would have been made. The wedding, again if I can afford to give my daughter a big wedding or any wedding for that matter why not? If not other arrangements would be made. To me my kids come first and I come second, and anything I can provide them with financially, I will. It gives me great satisfaction to help.

    Answer by older at 6:47 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • we intend to do it the same way my parents did as far as college went i had to give half of every pay check to them from the time i got a job until i moved out the only thing taken out before hand was car insurance. as far as my wedding went i come from a family of 6 girls so they decide when the first got married that each chilrd would be given $1500 for a wedding present if they could plan one for that great but if not they had to come up with the difference.

    Answer by jen699 at 6:57 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I paid for my college, my parents helped out occasionally when I was broke or starving :) I also paid for my own wedding but my parents did help a little, and I mean a little. I think if kids want to go to college they should figure out a way to pay for it. I'm still paying off my loans! How could I take on my kid's!

    Answer by newmomma14 at 6:58 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • My teenage daughter isnt allowed to have a job. School is her job.
    I will pay for whatever is left over after her scholarships and grants.
    I want my child to have every opportunity to succeed.

    This is why so many kids DONT make it to college.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • My parents paid for my wedding, but that was their choice. I did not ask them to nor did I expect it of them. I have sons, so technically the wedding part doesn't apply, but even with sons, if I can afford to help them with their wedding I will. As far as college, I would help them as much as I was able without becoming homeless in the process, but I would expect them to also do the best they can and try to get some scholarships to help out with it. I feel that it shouldn't be just handed to them on a silver platter; it will matter more to them and motivate them to work harder if they have something invested in it, even if it's just the hard work that went into getting the scholarship.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 7:12 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I do think that the education think the parents should help the best they can Like the first poster said at least half, but that is of what is left over after after any scholarships. I will provide my kids the most I can for this no matter what I have to do and I have 3. As for the wedding it is a nice gester though I think the parents of the ones being wed should go dutch and only on what they can afford basics. If they do extravagant things great if not and the kids want it they can figure it out. My dh and I had to go to a private minister with witnesses we didn't know, I want my kids to have a better wedding than that. My son I will also contribute the most I can when he gets married. When my parents got married the family all got small gifts but then each chipped in to send them on a honey moon.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 7:36 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

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