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did i overreact?

I told my dh last night about my dds parent teacher conference last night and he said he wanted to go. So this is on tuesday plus at 5 my dd has gymnastics class. Now my sds mom calls about a therapy session for my sd. She aid my dh could go Tues at three Now if he went he would miss the conference and her class. I told im thi and he said that I should just get someone else to go wit me. I was very mad because he made a commit to me and my dd for that day and then didnt even consider any of tis once sds mom called. At the end of all this he did switch the therapy session to the next dy but still sees nothing wrong with not going to any of dds schedule things for the day. I told him he needs to get his priotories straight about his family. He cant just drop the kids that live here every time my sds mom calls. Am I right? I mean whats tht showing the other kids if he can so easil skip ut on their things. Help me!! Am I wrong?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Nov. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • I can totally see why you are upset but therapy sessions are more of a priority than a conference. I know he should be there for the conf but there will be many more for him to attend. Sometimes things come up and you have to make a choice. A choice that will hurt someone. If it means that much to you then id talk to her teacher and set up a private conference that you are both able to attend. id let this one go. Now if hes famous for bailin out then thats another story. GL
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:14 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Id also app that he was able to find away to do both in the end
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:16 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Is the dd that has the conference his dd? Just curious because you wording sounds like the "kids in the house" are not biologically his
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:17 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Yeah, I think you might have overreacted.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:17 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • My dd is just mine he is her sf but her dad is not really in the picture so he is mainly dad and we do have another child together. Yes i did appreciate the fact he changed the appt but he jut didnt seem to care if he missed things thats what made me upset. Also, ti does happen alot. Not being selfish but in the big scheme of tings he does drop everything when it comes to sd.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:23 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • thats def a shame. It seems like he feels a lot of pressure to be the father she never had. To avoid pain for both you and your dd Id let him do for her when he can. Its tough but he is not her bio dad and his kids have to come first. Im def not trying to sound rude. Its hard to get my point across online. lol But as I said Id let him make the decisions that are comfortable for him and not let your dd know whats going on until its all definate. You def dont wanna get her hopes up. Especially on a frequent basis
    Steph319

    Answer by Steph319 at 8:34 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • I agree with the pp. Therapy is generally a much bigger deal than a conference, but I understand that you want all the kids to feel that they are loved equally. But if his daughter does not live in your home, I think it's understandable that he may want to step up whenever he can so she doesn't feel unloved or unwanted. He's there in the home with your daughter and your child together everyday for them to feel appreciated. I'd say that as long as he's spending time with them on a day to day basis, you should be more understanding if he feels compelled to attend anything your SD does need from him since she may not see him as often as the other children do. I know you want him to attend everything, but at the end of the day his biological daughter may feel the absence moreso than your daughter since he's in the home with her. Just my thoughts, good luck to you.
    ErinHill226

    Answer by ErinHill226 at 8:50 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • It sounds like your husband did what you wanted him to do. His children all need his attention and love but he needs to sit down with you and talk about what is most important to you and the children in your home. Give him a chance to let you know what his priorities are with his other child so together, you both get what is most important to you and don't spend time on what you could take or leave. Don't be bossy girl. If he says taking his child to therapy is what he is most wanting to do with that child, be understanding and work with him to meet your needs. Your in this together. It's not about who is right or wrong. It's about caring for each other enough to work it out.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 9:22 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Thanks to everyone for their input. I do try to be understanding and my dh oe love all is children. Its just a difficult position somtimes being in blended family whih is why I aske this question. So, really thanks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:05 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

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