Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

venting...any advice?

Ok so I've been with my Boyfriend for 2 yrs now, we have a 7 months old daughter and ever since then I've had trust issues with him. We met at work a few yrs ago and I was young and naive..I fell in love everything happend so fast. He is a restaurant manager and I find it really hard to trust him now that I am at home alone with the baby all day. He's very charming and seems to befriend everyone easily, I just hate how girls talk to him I've seen it...cause he is the boss they kiss his ass I know how it goes. I believe him when he tells me he would never be with anyone else but for some reason I can't shake the thought of it he's done things in the past to not deserve my trust....just stupid things and conversations I would never do that to him. Am I being too paranoid? I need to just keep myself busy and focus on other things

Answer Question
 
AlexxasMama

Asked by AlexxasMama at 9:07 PM on Nov. 10, 2009 in Relationships

Level 5 (95 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • Being home all the time can make it hard to not have your mind wander. I wouldn't worry too much about it unless there is physical proof. Talk to him about it...
    TurksMommy

    Answer by TurksMommy at 9:09 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • How well do you know his staff? I understand about temptation. We had 2 managers that all the girls would flirt with at work (kissing butt and such). One of the managers wife came in quite a bit to bring in treats, say hello, remember birthdays, work anniversaries and such. We all treated her like a coworker. After a little while the flirting stopped with her hubby. Women probably started feeling guilty because they liked her and got to know her. She wasn't just a picture on his desk (This was at a restaurant as well).

    I wouldn't keep pestering him about things, but I would bring it up a little. People can change, will take time, but it is possible. good luck.
    54313MomOf4Boys

    Answer by 54313MomOf4Boys at 9:12 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • If you've been with him for two years and have a 7 month old with him but are still having trust issues then it most likely is just you being cooped up. I would talk it over with him and voice your concerns. Let him know that your not accusing him of ANYTHING, because you have no physical proof of that, but just that your feeling a little insecure. If he is coming home to you everynight and telling you how much he loves you then who cares about a some girl flirting with him. Your the one on his mind! Hope it helps:)
    SabrenaLeigh

    Answer by SabrenaLeigh at 9:17 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Well if he's given you a reason not to trust him in the past, that is then something to consider. However, you cannot control this except to learn to trust and wait and see.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:24 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Have an active life of your own at home and outside of your home. Talk with him about what you aren't comfortable with and ask him not to do it for the good of your relationship. Certain behaviors are no longer appropriate. If he has cheated on you (or with you), it's especially important for him to earn your trust or earn it back. If it's appropriate, hold him accountable by dropping in unannounced once in awhile to eat and say hello. If it's a place a wife and child wouldn't normally visit or eat at, stay out. What you need to know you will find out. If you think there is a problem, don't dismiss yourself as paranoid. Have a pro check it out for you. Don't accept his defensiveness or accusations that you have a problem. You need to talk and work it out like to adults. There is no place for childishness.
    happi-ladi

    Answer by happi-ladi at 9:28 PM on Nov. 10, 2009

  • Thanks guys that helps a lot :) I think I just need to get out more..even visit his work more often. They threw us a babyshower, I guess I just remember how charming my boyfriend was when I met him and he still is, I just hate his hours he is at work almost all the time & with those people. I need to figure something out as far as a career, I'm sure that will give me more confidence. Our baby is beautiful, we've really bonded since then I just wanna keep the fire between us..
    AlexxasMama

    Answer by AlexxasMama at 2:30 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN