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I have to ask

Y is it that everyone seems to think it is the mans job to work and the womans to clean and cook and take care of the kids. I mean really. Isn't this the 21st century..equals and all that stuff. Yea alot of us are SAHMs but come on, it is a job. And a tiring one. They go to work, work a few hours and come home a veg. That dont work in my home. I have a job to. Its at home, with the kids, and the chores, and the meals. But mine don't end after 8 hours. Its all day, and all night. Y should he get to relax at night, if you don't.


Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 AM on Nov. 11, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (8)
  • Amen sister. I work full time and I totally understand. My husband if home four days a week and somehow I manage to get more done in my two days off. So, I started leaving him lists dividing the household chores. He is more than willing because the way he sees it I am less stressed and we have more time together.

    Answer by kidomom at 12:57 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Call me crazy but I really don't mind doing everything for my husband, Even while doing in home day care and taking care of our own 3 children, I never expect him to help around the house. On the weekends I go out in his shop and help him with whatever he needs help with and still do everything in the house that needs to be done. I figure he works way harder than me at his job and I will do everything I can to make his life easier.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:58 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I work full time and go to school. My bf works full time and does most of the chores in the house. Laundry, cleaning, floors, vaccuuming, litter boxes. I scrub bathrooms and do what i call the "reorganizing" meaning i pick a closet, cupboard, room, area and make sure it stays clutter free. We split cooking time cuz of my night classes and studying. It works out great!

    Answer by roxyann76 at 1:08 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I do a majority of the house work during the day while Brandon is at work. Anything else, he helps with. He helps with the kids when he is not working too. On weekends, he takes care of the kids so that I can sleep late. I am a SAHM so yes most of the jobs around the house fall on me but thats what a SAHM is. If we did not do those things, like housework and childcare, then what is the point in staying home. I have a great husband that helps when I need help and loves playing with his children so that I can have two minutes of ME time. If others choose to do everything in the house, as long as they are happy, that is their business. I do most because he is at work and I am doing my job. To each their own. I don't think it is right for a man to control his wife. She should only do the housework alone if she doesn't mind doing it alone.

    Answer by JEAmom3 at 1:17 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • There was a program on tv the other day about this. There was even an author of a book on there talking about it. Many women want the role of SAHM and they want the job of caring for the home and kids while the man works and provides. The main point I make to women when they ask is to set these boundaries BEFORE marriage or before they move in with men. Who will do what? Find out before so there isn't a shock or anger later. Being s SAHM isn't an easy task but it's significant in the relationship and for the kids.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:01 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • If I was a SAHM, my DH would not have to do anything when he got home.
    If you chose to stay at home and label it as your "job" then you are treating it as your job and you feel you need down time also. Understandable. It is not a job though. It is a way of life that you are chosing to live. Taking it out on DH because he has been at work all day is not making matters better. I know my DH's work is hard labor and he does rest and he does chores and plays with the kids. I do not expect him to come home and do everything I did not do because I have been there all day. If you nag at him or get fuming mad and "expect" him to do things and he does not know you want his help then there is a line of mis-communication... Talk to him? I know being a SAHM is hard mentally and physically, I did it for 10 years. Just hang in there, kids grow up fast!

    Answer by JLynn0871 at 1:23 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Wow, it roles were reversed would you feel the same? I think that when you and your husband decided that you would be a SAHM that you failed to check out the job description. It is a 24 hour a day 7 day a week job. For you to say your husband works just a couple of hours and then does nothing really demeans him. I like how we all want equality but with our own rules. Every job has its own mental/emotional/physical pitfalls, maybe you aren't meant to be a SAHM.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:23 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I've been on both sides of the fence. I have had to work full time and do the housework and raise four kids, and I got to be a SAHM for a few years also. When I was a SAHM the house and kids were my work and I loved it. I didn't need nor want my husband to do anything at the house except fix things. Everything else was mine and I was proud of the home I kept and the kids I raised. All my kids are grown now and I have worked my entire life. I am married to a wonderful man (not the kids' dad) and if it were possible financially, he would work and I would stay home and keep the house. I love taking care of my home, cleaning it and the feeling of accomplishment and pride when it's all done. I like to have a nice home for my husband to come home to, it's one of the ways I express my love and appreciation for what he does. I long for the days when I didn't have to get up and go to work! I will be a homemaker any day!

    Answer by TarLion at 7:50 AM on Nov. 15, 2009