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crib vs co-sleeping?

my 4 month old has been sleeping with my husband and i since he was 1 month old. he slept in a bassinet for the first few weeks.
my husband works out of state so he's only home for 2 weeks each month. we bought our son a crib about 1 month ago and he sleeps in it when my husband is home so my husband and i can have our bed to ourselves again. when my husband is away at work, my son sleeps in the bed with me. i try to put him in the crib but im nervous all night, checking on him every second even though the crib is in our bedroom. i'm also attached to having him sleep with me and it's much easier to nurse him when he wakes in the early morning for a feeding.
i'm not sure if having him sleep in the bed with me while my husband is away is a good idea because he may not want to go back to his crib when my husband comes home. does anyone else have this problem? i have crib fear!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 3:45 AM on Nov. 11, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (21)
  • my dd is 14 months and she has co-slept with my hubby and i since day one!! i have crib/toddler bed fear also. she can sleep with us for as long as she wants. i do not care!!! i feel empty with out her sleepin right beside me.

    Answer by MoMMy2aDiVA08 at 4:02 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • i think crib sleeping and co-sleeping are both healthy ways, but i do think consistency is important! just my opinion though! if i were you, i'd just try to get used to the crib. maybe get a god monitor. i think video monitors are a waste, but if you can afford it, it might be worth it for some peace of mind! :)

    Answer by SavvyMomma1809 at 4:28 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Same here, he is now 3 mos. But am still worrying putting him on the crib because of SIDS I'm obsessed with that fear of losing him he have a reflux, he vomits and throws up when not held under my arm been co sleeping till day one. It's been a marital problem because bf is upset bout baby sleeping with us but he tries so hard to understand.

    Answer by masipagwapa at 5:31 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I am in the same boat as you, but my little girl has the "crib fear" not me. If your LO will sleep in the crib, I think it would be best to start the crib sleeping and keep it consistent. We are having the hardest time transistioning her to the crib and I feel like I made the mistake of not doing it sooner. And as long as your crib is safe with all the SIDS prevention you can do, baby will be safe. PLUS, I have heard that without being next to you, babies tend to sleep better because they don't smell you and want to eat. (I don't know personally, I am hoping to soon!) You can do it!

    Answer by jessmered at 8:07 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Co-sleeping is never a good idea. It will only lead to problems down the road. Are you the same type of lady's that slept with a teddy bear all your life?! Wait til he's 1 and then switch. I mean, TRY to switch. I'm sure they'll scream and need to come back and sleep with you over and over, night after night....sounds like fun, right? I feel bad for any of your husbands...where's the intimacy?

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:46 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Switch the baby now while you still can!! Too many people make the mistake of co-sleeping and not switching their baby's to their crib until it's too late. The longer you wait, the harder it will be to get them to sleep in their crib. My son slept in the same ROOM as us until he was 4 months. Then I switched him to his crib, and I slept WONDERFULLY! The best sleep I had since he was born. Just don't wait too long.

    Answer by mamie2shoes at 8:49 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Transitioning Out of the Parent's Bed
    Most medical experts say the safest place to put an infant to sleep is in a crib that meets current standards and has no soft bedding. But if you've been cosleeping with your little one and would like to stop, talk to your doctor about making a plan for when your baby will sleep in a crib.

    Transitioning to the crib by 6 months is usually easier — for both parents and baby — before the cosleeping habit is ingrained and other developmental issues (such as separation anxiety) come into play. Eventually, though, the cosleeping routine will likely be broken at some point, either naturally because the child wants to or by the parents' choice.

    But there are ways that you can still keep your little one close by, just not in your bed. You could:


    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • •Put a bassinet, play yard, or crib next to your bed. This can help you maintain that desired closeness, which can be especially important if you're breastfeeding. The AAP says that having an infant sleep in a separate crib, bassinet, or play yard in the same room as the mother reduces the risk of SIDS.
    •Buy a device that looks like a bassinet or play yard minus one side, which attaches to your bed to allow you to be next to each other while eliminating the possibility of rolling over onto your infant.
    Of course, where your child sleeps — whether it's in your bed or a crib — is a personal decision. As you're weighing the pros and cons, talk to your child's doctor about the risks, possible personal benefits, and your family's own sleeping arrangements.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:53 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • My son is only in bed w/us to nurse. then he goes to his crib. his crib is right next to our bed though & i wake up to anything & everything

    Answer by marinesweetie at 9:20 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • well i do think you could have some trouble if you expect him to sleep in a crib when daddy is home. but if you do want to cosleep i think it's a good option. some will tell you it's dangerous/stupid/etc, but ultimately it's up to you and your husband. here is an interesting website from a scholar who studies such things :

    there are videos on there as well. co-sleeping wasn't for us because we were too nervous that we would roll over our baby but it works great for a lot of families. i know it would have allowed me to sleep a lot more if i could have been comfy with him in our bed.

    Answer by Stefanie83 at 9:32 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

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