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Your Friends Disciplining Your Children

How do you feel about this? At dinner, with two other couples, one child ( 19 months) repeatedly picked up spoon and threw it. His parents told him no each time and put it back down on the table. The child did it again and our other friend got low at eye level to the kid, put his finger in his face and told him " No, if you do it again you're going to timeout in the car alone" The kid didnt do it again and the kids parents seemed ok (those two couples go way way back 15 yrs or so).

I just don't think i would be ok with that, and I hope that it never comes up. I guess in reality my son wont always listen, but I don't think I want that guy disciplining my kid.

Would you be ok with it? If obviously what you were doing wasn't working? How long do you have to know somebody before it becomes acceptable?

 
Christina2135

Asked by Christina2135 at 11:15 AM on Nov. 11, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 7 (166 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • My parents sometimes dicipline my child, and I think it's okay if they're watching him. However, it crosses the line for me when I'm in the room and someone else (even my parents) diciplines my child for me. That's when they're stepping on my feet and undermining my authority. When I'm standing there and telling my child "No" and someone else comes in and takes over, it shows my child I am incapable of handling the situation. Which leads to my child not listening to me further. I don't respect that or appriciate it. I wouldn't have been fine with it, and repeatedly tell people who do, do that, that it isn't okay at all. I am the parent and I will handle the situation. Though, I wouldn've taken the spoon away from the child after the second time of them throwing it. With one warning before hand. However, I definately wouldn't have appriciated a friend yelling at my child.
    JazzlikeMraz

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 6:31 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Non physical discipline is ok to me. Now if they tried to spank my child, I would have a problem with that.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 11:20 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Would you be ok with it? It depends on the situation, if my child is doing something that will harm her then I'm fine with a close friend saying something, but not telling my child what their punishment will be.


    If obviously what you were doing wasn't working? I'd ask my friends what works for them, try didn't things to see what works, and always give explanation why you're disciplining them.


    How long do you have to know somebody before it becomes acceptable? For a couple or few years, or more. And also to me it depends on my friendship with the other person, and how comfortable I am with them and how they are.

    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 11:21 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I have a girlfriend, whom i allow to discipline my little ones, becuase sometimes its good when another adult tries to correct them besides me...it enforces the rules a bit better...but of course if your not comfortable with that...i would say something.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:22 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • two mutual friends of mine are like that. but one of the friends is more disciplinary towards the other kids. when babysitting she made them stand in the corner, she taught the 3 year old yes ma'am and made her sit in the corner if she refused, she spanked them and slapped their hands, and nothing was ever done about it. she lost custody of her 1st child and I am very surprised cps didnt take away her second child. but whatever. she's pregnant and i'm sure smoking weed. I wont let her near my son. back to your question, no I wouldnt like that. being nice about it, maybe saying "listen to mommy and daddy! they said no!" wouldnt be a problem for me.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:24 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I would allow it. I have no problem with my good friends helping me out. Just like they have no problem with me helping them out. what bugs me is when a complete stranger gets onto my kid.
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 11:30 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Verbal, yes... Physical, no.. I think its good for a kiddo to hear, "That's inappropriate" from other adults. IMO, it teaches humility and respect. I remember as a child, if an adult other than my parents corrected me, I never did whatever it was again! Its just different hearing something from another adult that might sink in w/ the child. idk.
    kenzie07

    Answer by kenzie07 at 11:36 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • The only thing that bothered me about the exchange was the "time out in the car alone". There's no way I would ever let someone tell that to my child even just as a threat. Kids alone in a care is a dangerous situation.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • My bff and I go waaay back and we get after each others children all the time. Seems to work in our favor. My kids seem a bit more intimidated by her and her kids by me. So, if my approach is not getting results, she will step in and boom problem solved lol. We both use time out as our form of discipline, so we have no conflict. Works for us. Kids are kids. I know when they are yours they are special, but they are all also stinkers from time to time. I would not let my kid through a spoon at a resturant over and over again. Not the kind of behavior I expect from my kids in public. The friend did right by getting eye level with the child, they teach you to do that as an education major. I really don't see the problem, if the parents of the child didn't have one.
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:54 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Throw not through sorry*
    salexander

    Answer by salexander at 11:55 AM on Nov. 11, 2009

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