As I watched the Veteran's Day parade, I saw some young active duty soldiers. I became depressed when I reflected how hard my life was since I was honorably discharged in '91. My MOS went on a freeze because of cutback. Also, when I presented my DD214 to an interviewer for a job, she commented that most of her hires had 10+ service time. The job was on a point value system. I was only a E4 (Army Specialist) when I separated. I cried hard because I wasn't even considered for the job. I had to work many years in fast food. My daughter has been raised by someone else because of my financial instability. Oh did I not mention that the Army does not accept single mothers?
Today feels so much like experiencing Christmas away from a family (the Army) that has turned away from me. (And yes, my actual father hasn't spoken to me since I separated from the military.)
How do I put these sad feelings into perspective today?
Asked by Anonymous at 12:45 PM on Nov. 11, 2009 in Politics & Current Events
Answer by MamaChamp at 12:50 PM on Nov. 11, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 1:19 PM on Nov. 11, 2009
I don't really know what to say. I am sorry for your sadness. I also want to extend my appreciation for your service to our country. I am sorry that your family has a mental block on loving and accepting you as you are, and not as what you do. We don't get to pick family or tell them how to accept us. We only have a choice of how we accept their behavior, or choose not to accept their behavior. I also have family that are only interested in their family connections when there is an opportunity to benefit. I have left them behind. It was the most liberating thing I have done. I let go of the resentment and decided that they are who they are and I don't have to accept them or their behavior. It was not easy, but it was completely and totally worth it. That's just how it worked for me. I hope that you will be able to find a way to hold your self esteem higher than other's worth in you. I hope that made sense.
Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Nov. 11, 2009
Anon, I am sorry. But I understand the military rule. In the military, the mission always comes first. Single parents in the military are req. to legally have a nonmilitary person (in immediate area at all times) on call at all times, 24-hrs/day,7days/wk, 365 days/yr~, who will legally agree (in writing) to take custody of your child at all times with NO notice. This got complicated and people were being dishonorably discharged and so the military has made it a strict rule to be enforced.
Sidenote: I have heard the Army National Guard accepts single parents. Have you tried there?
Answer by grlygrlz2 at 1:42 PM on Nov. 11, 2009
I twittered your question, and got this link...
WAIVERS: FOR SINGLE & MILITARY PARENTS (6) Applicants without a spouse and who have custody of dependent (s) or married applicants whose spouse is in any military component, must have a Family Care Plan (DA Form 5305-R and /or DA Form 5960 and accompanying documents) completed per AR 600-20 prior to submission of waiver. Contact a recruiter for waiver information
Answer by grlygrlz2 at 1:44 PM on Nov. 11, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Nov. 11, 2009
Answer by SterlingLegend at 3:14 PM on Nov. 11, 2009
Answer by yourspecialkid at 5:34 PM on Nov. 11, 2009