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Your teen and abstinence/birth control?

Wondering about other moms rules/morals you have when it comes to your teen and abstinence/safe sex/birth control?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:53 PM on Nov. 11, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • We used the internet to share the horror's or STD's with her, and followed it up with the ugly side of child birth.
    I told her that it was better to wait, but if she falls in love and feels like she can't wait any longer, to tell me so that I could take her to the doctor for birth control.
    She's 14 right now and is firmly set on waiting. There have been boys to ask her out and she says no, she see's what her friends are doing with their boyfriends and doesn't want to join their ranks.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:05 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I encouraged my then teen son to use condoms although I didn't buy them but I did say how easy they are to buy and where to buy them comfortably. As a teen couple, his girlfriend was on the pill and they were either really lucky or great with bc.

    I'd have a frank talk - tell your teen he / she can face you and listen up or you'll talk anyway and they can turn away from you if embarrassed while you talk.

    Oh yeah, I also told my son in emergency as a condom if they have plastic wrap to use it generously with a lot of lube.

    I did also say that abstinence is important for many reasons, especially the respect and care of the baby and hardship of finances and selfrespect.

    lfl

    Answer by lfl at 1:09 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I discussed sex from A to Z with my boys. We talked about abstinence and safe sex. I made my preferences known. At that particular time I was almost more worried about HIV than I was a pregnancy. They both chose to have sex when the time came. The really dumb part is my oldest son changed girlfriends constantly. I was very dissappionted in him but never voiced it. However, when he was being essentially a man whore he always practiced safe sex. It was when he 'fell in love' he became complacent when he was sleeping only with one woman..and of course 4 months later she's pregnant. My youngest son had only 3 girlfriends and each lasted over a year before he met the one he married.. I think he owns stock in Trojan.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 1:09 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I don't have a teen yet, but having been a teen in the not too distant past...I'd say you should definitely have the birds and the bees talk...discuss abstinence and safe sex and provide condoms. I would also let your daughter know that you will take her to the doctor for birth control if she wants it but that it is not a substitute for a condom (stds) and also let her know that she can go to a clinic or planned parenthood and get birth control on her own if she isn't comfortable having you take her. She can also require her partner to get an STD screening through a clinic or planned parenthood before deciding whether or not to have sex.
    ANGIE409

    Answer by ANGIE409 at 1:21 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I have heard the CD and book set "passport to purity" is fantastic. Where you and your daughter go away for a weekend to discuss abstenance. check it out on amazon.
    New2Florida

    Answer by New2Florida at 1:24 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • My son is 13 and he has known from a young age what condoms are. I have talked to him about how he should wait but if he chooses to have sex, he needs to be responsible and respectful. He also knows that he WILL take care of any child that results from sex. He has also learned about birth control, abstinence and std's in health class. I believe in being open and honest with him. Education and knowledge is best. He will eventually get he banana and condom demo too.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:18 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Be realistic about your children. Do you want them protected? Are they going to have sex even though you tell them not to? What are their friends doing? Its hard to be the odd person out. I'm not condoning premarital sex by any means. Keep your eyes wide open and sometimes birth control may be a consideration. But! I also have another idea. Have your kids volunteer at a child care program of some sort. Best kind of natural birth control there is. :0)
    Lifes-A-Dance

    Answer by Lifes-A-Dance at 5:57 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • We taught our children that sex outside of marriage is immoral and extremely harmful. We started early and we were consistent in our teaching. We also were extremely involved in their social lives. For the most part, they entertained their friends in our home where we were always present. We went with them to their activities and events, rather than dropping them off. I am happy to report that they were all virgins when they married, and none of them married all that young. So even in this day, it is possible to remain pure until marriage.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:30 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • My little guy isn't anywhere near that stage yet, but seeing as I'm a teen (19) and have a baby I think (even though i don't agree with premarital sex anymore) I will play it safe. I'll teach him about safe sex, buy him condoms, the whole deal (I hope he'll take my advice and wait though, but most teenagers are going to do what there hormones tell them to in the end)
    Hali_Taylor

    Answer by Hali_Taylor at 8:54 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • lets all be realistic here - unless you home school your kids & they are w/ you 24/7 - we need to live in the real world. Teens are having sex at younger ages - what do we expect w/ the stuff on tv, the radio, clothes etc.... I have 6 kids & 5 of them are girls. My son is the oldest & in college & when he was a teen & I knew he had a girlfried me & my husband both talked about protection - hell I even offered to buy him condoms if he was embarrassed or didn't have money & told him to use them everytime - even if the girl claimed to be on the pill. My oldest daughter is 14 & both my husband & I have taken her to the doctor for birth control shots. Do I want her having sex - NO but I know that she has & at least she told us. I don't want her to be a mom & I don't want to be a grandma. I think honesty is best because there really is no way to stop them - not all parents are involved & they will find a place.
    paiges6

    Answer by paiges6 at 10:59 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

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