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Sis-in-law getting married on 9/11?!?

My sister in law is almost 21. She is getting married this coming September 11th (which, in my military mind, is a faux pas in and of itself). My husband is getting deployed to Afghanistan in April of this coming year. Sister-in-law can't seem to get out of her own selfish bubble and understand that MARINES CANNOT JUST COME BACK FOR A WEDDING when they are deployed. Hell...they can't even come home for the birth of their own children! If they are lucky they can watch the birth via the internet! We suggested they move the wedding up or back if it's that important that her brother be there. She has declined. It's more important that she get married on the anniversary of 9/11. I am angry that she can't be bothered to understand that there is NO WAY my husband can be at the wedding. She's all bent out of shape that big brother won't even try to be there. And her mother...agrees with her! No voice of reason. Ugh! Am I wrong?

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Asked by SterlingLegend at 3:37 PM on Nov. 11, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (13 Credits)
Answers (32)
  • You are not wrong for having an opinion but it is her wedding and she can have it whenever she wants... that's her right. If your hubby can't make it then that's her loss because she knows he will be deployed. Nothing you can do about but hopefully she will find it in her heart to change the date if she really wants him to be there.

    Good Luck

    Answer by ProudMom_5703 at 3:41 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • absolutely not! my uncle is in the army and he missed two of his four kids births. but on the other hand, maybe your husband could direct her to speak with his CO and let them tell her that there is no guarantee that he will be there. even if he did get approved for leave, it could change at the last minute. if she doesn't understand, then let her have a bridezilla meltdown. what i am confused about is her mother agrees. don't they know that your husband can't just pick and choose the days he is half way around the world! sheesh!

    Answer by cdmillard23 at 3:43 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Hubby was almost in the same boat, he's a Marine and his brother is a Marine, and his brother planned his wedding during a time he knew hubby would be deployed... but no one cared. I thought it was a little sh*tty of them but it's not up to when they should get married so I just stayed out of it.

    Answer by marine_wife0520 at 3:48 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • It is her wedding, she gets to decide on the date.

    Answer by Tetona at 3:56 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I have your back sister.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:06 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I think she's being childish.....but it is her wedding she can have it when she wants but if she wants her brother to be there then she needs to change the date....or quit bitchin & accept he can't be there. I pray for your family when he leaves goodluck & tell him to be safe!

    Answer by rebel07 at 4:16 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • And their mother agrees with her. She is 21. What are the chances that the marriage will last. He should tell her he will try to make her next wedding. Since this one is doomed, because she is still a child! Not because she is 21, but because she is acting like she is 12.  Mother agrees.  What an idiot!


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:16 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • He should tell her that if she insists on getting married on 9/11 that he wouldn't come even if he was home rather than in Afghanistan.  That is just rude.


    Answer by Anonymous at 4:18 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • call her and say "hey its your wedding and you get to pick all things,i would hate for someone to tell me what to do on my wedding,but! your brother is not making it,you made it hard for him and thats why he cant make it" then finish it by saying "but its your day so im happy for you and so is he,sorry he cant come"

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 4:24 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • There is nothing wrong with getting married on 9/11 anon :18... unless it was within the family that a loss occured. People can't change their birthdays... I am sure they have a celebration on that day too... does that make them rude?

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

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