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I had a still born birth in September at nine months. What can I do to convince the father that its gonna be ok?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:54 PM on Nov. 11, 2009 in Trying to Conceive

Answers (6)
  • maybe you just need to tell him this is something that you really want and you need him to be okay with it because you are going to need all the support u can get. And maybe even take him to a doctor visit with u so he can ask questions
    his88angel

    Answer by his88angel at 3:59 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Take him to all your doctor visits! My hubby went to all but one.
    MommaRox4683

    Answer by MommaRox4683 at 4:09 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I'm so sorry.

    We expect our babies to be born perfect and a still born birth is such a shock. It sound like you may be doing better than he is. Sometimes that happens, one of the parents reacts much stronger than the other.

    I delivered my stillborn grandson in the bathroom of the ER, my son wasn't there. He never wants to have another child. It had a very powerful impact on all three of us. It was worse for me than my three miscarriages.

    He needs to talk about it to someone. He may have pictures in his head he needs to deal with. If you get pregnant again you may be OK but he may be worried the whole time and even have trouble bonding with the baby.

    I think it would help if he could talk to a man that is trained in counseling but not a 'shrink'.

    I wish both of you peace.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 4:12 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Are you prego? If so yes take him to all the doctor appointments. If not give him time, or try a pastor or a grief counselor. Each person moves through the process at there own pace. I am sorry that had to have been difficult for both of you. I am sorry.

    DevilInPigtails

    Answer by DevilInPigtails at 4:13 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I am very sorry to read this.
    r00j04j08

    Answer by r00j04j08 at 10:06 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I definitly agree with all the above...counseling and dr visits. But I will say..my fiance and I went through a very tough time and it was harder on him. We've been together for over 2 years and he finally just let it go back in April. My counselor told me that men see images when they think of things...women see some but more words and things. So the image of his stillborn child is still in his head. :( i know its tough. My fiance kept imaging me with another man :( i know...its terrible. (ive changed) but id always ask WHY are you thinkin that dont let yourself and he just couldnt get the image out. Thats how men are. Its tough. And I'm SO very sorry to hear this :( Ill keep you in my prayers. There is hope.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:36 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

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