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My DD will be 5 weeks on saturday and everytime my SOs family is around it's always "you need to do this, you need to do that"..They bash my decision to breastfeed my daughter, they try to give my daughter water because they say "she shouldn't be hungry when she just ate 1-2 hours ago" after I explained that breastmilk is easier digested hence her frequent bowel movements and need to eat, they started her on a pacifier after I told them not too, they try conviencing me that her bowel movements are diarrhea when they are regular, I even asked the doctor. They try to make me wrap her up in a million blankets when their heat is literally at 90 degrees and shes sweating, they tell me I'm spoiling my daughter because I hold her and I asked her pedi and she said it's not possible to spoil her so young. They try to control every move I make with her. I could understand if they were helpful but they are demanding. CONT.

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Marix3

Asked by Marix3 at 9:31 PM on Nov. 11, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 14 (1,755 Credits)
Answers (12)
  • I've tried being nice. I've spoken my concerns and my wishes and now I'm to the point where I can't be nice anymore. This is MY daughter, I will raise her how I want and I'm doing things based on MY instincts and her doctors orders. The problem is, I temporarly live with them. So my question is, what now? I tried being nice about it, how else can I make myself clear without getting nasty and making them turn their backs to me? I want my DDs family there but I can't stand them standing over my shoulder and not following MY wishes.
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 9:32 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Sounds like you are doing great mama! Stick firm to your choices!
    vickwu

    Answer by vickwu at 9:33 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Tell them you are following the doctor's orders. Period.

    And offer to have THEM come see the doctor with you if they don't want to believe you, but until they do, this is no longer up for discussion.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:40 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Oh. And you may NEED to be nasty because they are risking her LIFE by smothering her with blankets. Tell SO to step UP and get them out of your face, or to step OUT.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 9:41 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • well i think at this point you are probably going have to get rude or tell your SO to tell them to back off it's your child not theirs and things have changed since they had babies...bfing or not babies need to eat every 1-2 my son is 7wks old and still eats ever hr or two and he's on formula..the pacifyer thing may be annoying but thats not a big deal the blanket thing they need to stop she can easily over heat babies are hot anyways so the 90 degree heat isnt going to help, it does sound like your doing everything right so tell your SO to tell HIS family to back up and let you raise your child it shouldnt be put on you to tell his family how to act
    GL!!
    freshly.married

    Answer by freshly.married at 10:18 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Wear your baby in a sling and rarely take baby out. IF someone wants to "help" or hold baby, stay there, say NO if they want to do something forbidden...
    Water is very dangerous for babies! For me, that alone would determine they're not allowed to hold baby again!
    Try eye contact and a stern "NO." Repeat as necessary.
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 11:02 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Why is water dangerous for babies?
    MyLifeKatie

    Answer by MyLifeKatie at 11:25 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • First of all you are doing the BEST thing for your daughter by breastfeeding... make sure they know that. and you feed her as much and as often as you feel you need to.
    Second if you dont want a pacifier tell them and if they keep giving her one, thow them away.
    Don't let them make you feel bad for being a good mom!!! Have a sit down talk with them and lay out boundries, but make sure your SO is there to support you. good luck and keep doing what is best.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:45 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • according to pediatricians, like James P. Keating, MD, medical director of St. Louis Children's Hospital Diagnostic Centre, "Too much water dilutes a baby and normal levels of sodium can lead to convulsions, coma, brain damage and worse even death.
    doulala

    Answer by doulala at 11:58 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Thank you ladies! I feel alot better now because all the pressure and agrivation started making ME feel like a bad mom and was taking the joy and excitement out of taking care of her=[
    Marix3

    Answer by Marix3 at 12:21 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

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