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Just bored tonight?

Let's get some funny stuff going tonight. i'm tired of reading rude comments and women bashing other women. So i'm looking for some jokes :) something to give me a good laugh! :) Real life stories or jokes from a joke book, whatever! :)

 
Zacherysmommy08

Asked by Zacherysmommy08 at 9:57 PM on Nov. 11, 2009 in Just for Fun

Level 3 (20 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • oooo, i have another, you know kids say the darndest things right! Well my duaghter used to spit up all over the place! and one day my girlfriend was over with her little boy (4 years) and i was telling her i just dont know why she spits up all the time! And he said with the most serious face "thats just what babies do, i dont know what to tell you" I lost it! I was laughing so hard i was crying! very funny! hope your night gets better!
    babymaddy

    Answer by babymaddy at 10:04 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • How about today...i am prego with HORRIBLE morning/all day sickness and today i thought if i move im going to vomit everywhere. My daughter (18months) was playing with something she shouldnt have been i could just tell i couldnt see! So i told her to come here, she didnt listen so i said in a loud tone 1-2, and she always comes running on 2 because she knows a 3 means i come get you and your get your hiney spanked, well anyways she came running and then leaned on our chaise with her butt out and looked at me like "what was so important that i drop everything to come over here" it was so funny that i just started laughing, which made me feel worse by the way! LOL but i couldnt help it!
    babymaddy

    Answer by babymaddy at 10:02 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • well last night I saw my friend at wally world a.k.a. Walmart and we have thing where we say "I'm THE MARY" this is from "Romy and Michells HS Reunion" Any way afterI left I decided I would leave a note on her car with that saying. I did not have a pen so I wrote it on paper with lipstick. Well I was expecting to get a test or phone call with her laughing or saying it back to me well don;t you know I left it on the wrong car. can you imagine the person who got it must of been like WTF.... i was LMAO
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:02 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Today I told my husband to clean up after himself when he left some garbage on the counter. He charmingly said "but that is what I have you for." I shot him a stare and he returned it with an extremely charming look with one eyebrow cocked. I said..."You can give me the cutest look you want but I'm not gonna bat my eyes and say 'yeah.' But nice try." Haahaahaa. He is so cute.
    Tickledtrauma

    Answer by Tickledtrauma at 10:05 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • That so funny!!!
    The funniest thing my Daughter 5 years said was" well mommy you have your rules and I havemine and I like mine bette." I couldn't do anything else but laugh.
    Oh and one night we were making up names for each other like my son was handsome fellow and Daughter was talented gal, and when I said what about daddy she said (with her thumb pointing out) "he can take a hike" WTF... I lost it
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:09 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Ok I have one... I told my husband to put away his clothes one day because I was fed up with doing it and he looked at me and said " I don't know where they go though." I looked at him and I said " You don't know where YOUR clothes go in YOUR drawers? HOW the HECK do you get dressed in the morning?!?" He looked at me and NO LIE said "i open all the drawers and try to find my clothes." he is so retarded! He has two drawers with his clothes in them and I have 3 with mine in them, there is no "looking" for clothes. lol I crack up laughing all the time when I think about him telling me he doesn't know where his clothes go
    Zacherysmommy08

    Answer by Zacherysmommy08 at 10:15 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I bet if you asked him to pack lunches for the kids his head would explode... ha
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:18 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • Want to hear something EMBARASSING? And totally TMI and nasty too!

    Tonight I went to wipe after peeing and assumed I was spotting on the TP since there were tiny streaks of blood (30 weeks pregnant and lost mucus plug 2 days ago). So, I call L&D all worried thinking my bloody show is about to start or something. Went back to the bathroom and realized I had taken a big crap earlier which caused an anal fissure, the source of where the streaks of blood was coming from. I felt so dumb! But thank goodness that's all it was and not pre-term labor!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:27 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • A couple weeks ago, I was sitting on Our beanbag chair, farted, and my Son (almost 2 1/2) imitated the sound of my fart. If that wasn't hilarious enough, He then says "Peeyou, Dada!" I just about died laughing. Apparently Mommie doesn't fart even when she does. ;P
    ajtherad

    Answer by ajtherad at 10:48 PM on Nov. 11, 2009

  • I got one. Well one day my mom and I were on our way to visit my sister and her kids. Well as soon as we walked in my nephew (4) ran to the frige and got the hot dogs and said "hurry mom grandma is here go hid the hot dogs befor she eats them all!" I laughed so hard that i wanted to pee on my pants!
    ProudMom351

    Answer by ProudMom351 at 12:02 AM on Nov. 12, 2009