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I don't feel like myself anymore...

I used to love coming in here and making ppl laugh, I used to love surfing and laughing and so many different things. I know I have cancer and it is a life changing experience but why has it ruined my spirit, personality, sense of humor so quickly? Ever since I had surgery on Oct. 22 and spent 9 days in the hospital, I came home a totally different (awfully grouchy) person. I haven't even started chemo or radiation yet and I already feel like I want to give up because I am no longer myself. I just had a good cry and some weight was lifted but pain has been ruling my life for days. My poor son (11) doesn't even want to be around me anymore. When he tries I just nicely blow him off. Any words of wisdom would help, or maybe I just need to cry some more.

 
ItsMeGigi69

Asked by ItsMeGigi69 at 12:22 AM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Just for Fun

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Answers (9)
  • Oh my goodness, my heart aches for you. I cannot imagine what you are going through, but just the fact that you know you are grumpy is a good thing. This is just a phase in your life and you are going to come out on the other side. It is a trial for sure. These things in life, make us stronger. Your family knows you love them. When I quit smoking recently, (totally uncomparable to your situation) I was so grumpy and could not stand myself and of course my kids drove me crazy every day, and I felt like I was so mean to them. I repeatedly told them sorry and asked for forgiveness, told them it wasn't their fault. When it got better I was talking to my kids about it, and about my anger/moodiness/craziness, and do you know what they said? "it wasn't that bad at all mom" Apparently I thought it was wayyyyyyy worse than it actually was. Much love to you, hang in there, you are not yourself now, but you'll be back:)
    JackieGirl007

    Answer by JackieGirl007 at 1:28 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • hey i was actually wondering where you have been :) its ok girly your going thru something hard and its up to you to take it as you wish,noone should say how to handle it,your gonna make it and ll will come back to normal,best of wishes and may God help you in this time of life <3 busy
    BUSYLOVINGHIM

    Answer by BUSYLOVINGHIM at 12:26 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • you are still you, even if you don't feel like it. and give it time, you will eventually feel like you again too. its ok to be grouchy. sometimes i don't play with my children like i should, bc i feel grumpy or just too busy. but they are my life. and i try to remind myself that. i have to be strong for them and there for them no matter what else is going on. and should something happen to myself or my children, i want them to know and myself to know, that i gave them everything i could possibly give. good luck with everything. with each day you are stronger.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:31 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Hi Gigi!! It's nice to see you around:) I'm sorry you feel badly, but that's to be expected. I truly wish you the best and hope you can get back to your normal self.
    theutilitarian

    Answer by theutilitarian at 12:33 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I wished I had an answer for you. It is OK to cry.

    My sisters MIL went thru heck and back recently herself diagnosed and after all she has gone thru in a short amount of time, and double masectomy she is still kicking it and cause of her bullheadedness and witchy attitude towards the FIL she is her old same self. She has never let anything get her down. Just wished she treated her family better.

    Please take the time to slow down and love some one like Delilah says......it is SO true. Every day is precious and ALWAYS tell your kids you love them soon as they wake up and before they go to sleep at night so they know and its the last thing you each hear from each other.....I LOVE YOU.

    Three simple words that mean so much. Please take the time to give your little love those huggy loves of love from you. NOW!

    Stay strong hun....I'll hold you in my prayers. I've seen your name on here before. Take good care.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:38 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Thanks girls, I just want to feel semi-normal because I am supposed to get worse before I get better and i really can NOT picture feeling any worse., Whew, ok, I just had my second good cry. I love you all.
    ItsMeGigi69

    Answer by ItsMeGigi69 at 12:41 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Hi Momma, it's nice to see you on here again.
    I wish I can say something to make you feel better, but the only thing I can say is pray to God to help you cope with everything and to help you with your son, give him some love mamma cuz he really needs it right now, just give him a really big hug cuz can you imagine what he is going through seeing his mamma in all this pain, pray to God and belive that he will take that cancer oway, cuz without God and his help we don't have much in this world, God Bless you momma I will keep you in my prayers, just belive and don't lose hope. (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGE HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 12:45 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • You will be OK.......it may take some time but please gather your close family and friends CLOSER.

    You need them for support. More then you realise and THAT will help you get stronger.

    And as I said....slow down and love some one. Take a breath and tell your son you want to ask something of him, a small favor, instead of blowing him off.

    He is as sad as you are if he knows of your illness hun, and he is trying to be a good soldier for you. You need to give him love and ask your friends and family for this as well. Tell them to overlook your BLAH moods, it is to be expected, my lord......you just have to keep the faith and courage to keep on keeping on as they say.

    My Mom said she would cry all the time to let it all out. It IS OKAY to cry. Just know your friends and family will be there and help you stay strong!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:50 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • God Bless You! I pray for a miracle cure for you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:57 AM on Nov. 12, 2009