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Am I selfish for only wanting 2 children?

I have a 2 year old boy and am pregnant with a girl. My son has severe food allergies and the odds are high my daughter will too. Buying special foods for him is expensive. The worry I feel every day is so scary. I'm not sure I can go through this with one more child! I see all over on CafeMom how big families are better because then the kids have more siblings to play with and the the family is more together because there is more focus on family then self. Most of my friends have 3+ children and I used to want that. Maybe I still do. Should I feel badly that I don't want this because our life is challenging enough? I think having more children with this problem would be too much for me. Am I taking something away from the 2 children I will have?


Asked by Anonymous at 1:53 AM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (21)
  • I came from a family with 9 kids. I do really feel all that close to all my siblings. Maybe like 1. I have just one daughter and I don't feel like she "missed" out on anything. We were always a family and very close she is twenty now and I wouldn't have changed a thing. To be honest, I am sick of all these people talking about having all these kids, how can you really give them the attention they deserve when you have so many. Now a days most people are working full time just to pay the bills, how can you come home at 5-6 pm and possibly be at your best for 5-6 kids, chances are you feed them, have them bath and get them off to bed. With my one child when I came home I had 2-3 hours just to devote to her. If I have 4-6 others I wouldn't have but a 20 mins to give each one. I think you are being responsible and an excellent parent in recognizing what you can do. I wish more parents did the same.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • No I think that's VERY responsible of you!

    Answer by Blueliner at 1:57 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • No, not at all. I feel the same way. I am happy with my life, sometimes I feel like two kids are too much. I feel like if we had more we wouldn't be able to do some of the things we do, financially it's amazing how one extra person changes things.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:58 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • No, just wise. When my twins were born and we discovered that they have special needs we decided that they would be the last. We already had their big sister and she was already "giving up" somethings, like mommy and daddy time. We didn't feel it was fair to her or to the twins to have more and put more demands on the family.

    Answer by teamquinn at 2:01 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Nothing wrong with only having 2... I have 2 and I'm done!! Both my hubby and I can from families that only had 2 kids. You need to do what's right for you and your family!! My kids are fine being just the two of them...vs the two of us... good odds if you ask me!!


    Answer by Morgain at 2:02 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I only have 2 kids, I got a tubal ligation after my daughter cause I doubt I could survive another pregnancy and the doctor was willing to give me one at 23 years of age so I was probably onto something there. My two kids play great together and love each other very much, my son knows I can't have more babies and he is fine with that and my daughter is special needs so that makes me even more glad to not be having more. We can't afford to have a big family, its better for us and our children to just be a family of 4. And you need to do whats best for you and your family.

    Answer by DianeMary at 2:08 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Am I selfish because I only want one? I don't think so. Money is tight; we can't afford to have another kid at this point, and I really REALLY don't want to go through a pregnancy again-I HATED being pregnant, I felt like crap for nine months straight. Sure, it might be selfish of me to not want to be uncomfortable for nine months, but really, who cares? It's my decision, and my husband's decision.

    Answer by SarahLeeMorgan at 2:20 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I am only have one because that is all I feel I can handle. My hats off to women with big families, my cousin has 6 kids and does it all, they are great kids with an amazing mother.
    but I just don't think I can do it.
    I would rather have the amount of children I can handle than have too many and have them not get what they need.

    Answer by Amelora at 2:22 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I don't think so. I have a bigger family, but it's not for everyone. To have even one child takes sacrifices. I think sometimes it's more selfish to have more. They don't get the same attention two children can. Mine are spaced out pretty well and that helps in our family.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:28 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Not at all. We always knew we only wanted two, and my husband had a vasectomy the day after my youngest was born. It's perfect because they don't outnumber us. We can go out as a family and each hold a hand. Lots of one on one time with the kids. I wouldn't change it!

    Answer by JulieJacobKyle at 2:44 AM on Nov. 12, 2009