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OH MY GOD

I'm so irritated with my "husband" and his family today I could seriously shoot someone! My SIL came to visit with my neice and they're BROKE, so husband bought them meals everyday (even though we just went grocery shopping, apparently nothing THEY liked) from Mcdonalds and that shit adds up! He spent like $30 a day on food, then had to give her gas $ to get home. Well the kicker is my crazy MIL thinks I blow $ on clothes for the kids when I never buy anything nice. I have to justify to her and husband what I buy and ask permission. I know being a SAHM I have to be careful with money but I shouldn't have to worry about giving my kids a nice XMAS because SIL is a broke bitch and should've stayed the fuck home! I feel like a doormat seriously!!! I can't take this stupid shit from them anymore, but I can't afford to leave either.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 8:54 AM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • First of all... you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Even if you DID blow all your money shopping, it's your life, your choice, as long as your husband agrees... that's the only two people that matter in your money equation. Your SIL is probably broke because she's a diva. Too bad. Why isn't your MIL asking her about HER money situation? Don't play that game. It was nice of your husband to do those things for them. I would suggest you have some guidelines for the future so there are no hard feelings... such as we can't buy fast food all the time, they eat what we eat. What's your husband's take? Don't let the bitches get to you, you're not married to them.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 4:27 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Oh yea and it really bothers me that MIL would probably rather see husband spend money on SIL & neice then on his OWN FUCKING FAMILY!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:56 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I think it was nice of him to care for his BROKE sister while she visited. Family does that for eachother. As far as you mother in law, i don't know. You need to have a discussion with your husband about that, & that it would make you a lot more comfortable if she was not meddled in your finacnial situations. You can also tell her that it is none of her business what you spend money on.

    I'm sure your husband would not spend all his money on feeding your SIL, leaving you too broke to buy stuff for your kids on Christmas. Looks like this Christmas, you're not really into the spirit of sharing.

    She is your brothers sister, she should not have to stay the f*ck home if brother is willing to help them while they pay a visit. I cannot tell you how many times my older brother payed my way to go back home for a visit, I'm very greatful for him. Family is family, we help eachother out.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:01 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • She shouldn't come visit and expect her BROTHER to pay for everything who has a FAMILY OF HIS OWN to take care of! Ask her own fucking mom, her baby daddy, anyone I don't care, why should my HUSBAND have to support her and US?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Some in laws are this way, I am sorry you were the lucky ones.

    Just try to save your own money little by little like a 20 here and a 20 there before you know it maybe you guys can move far away enough to where they can't go to your house anymore.

    Then your dh can focus on you and the kids rather than supporting another family who obviously is taking advantage of him. I mean it's ok to take care of family but if they are healthy to get their own job come on that is where you draw the line. Hang in there it has to get worse before it gets better. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 9:04 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • And it's not like a one time thing, either. She just came down the weekend before this. We simply CANNOT afford it. We have 3 kids. Maybe I should've known SIL was gonna come in a bad way and not had 3 kids? give me a break.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:05 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • "why should my HUSBAND have to support her and US"


    Maybe because he loves his sister & his niece? Is it really out of the question to want to spend time & money with family? If he really did not want her to come, then he could have told her not too, heck you could have told her not to. And if he cannot afford to feed her, then he could have told her. She would have found something to eat.

    You also could have said something to her too you know. Ask her "why does my husband have to support you & us?" He's probably just doing what he thinks is the right thing to do.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 9:11 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I have a SIL like this as well, I feel your pain. Thankfully, it's not my hubby that helps her. It's my FIL who fall sfor her traps. She's an RN and makes gooooood money. But She's a single mom, so FIL feels sorry for her...and is constantly shoving money down her throat. I know some will say you sound jealous...that's not it...and I get that. It's just hard to sit back and watch people being used.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:12 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Yes, it is out of the question when we simply don't have the money for it. I'm sure he didn't tell her not to come because he didn't know he'd be her sugardaddy this weekend. He is the type that lets people he loves walk on him, and frankly she was just being rude by coming down here with no money in her pocket for herself and her child and expecting us to foot the bill. Not to mention she was out carrying on with one of his friends all weekend, perhaps she should've ask him to buy her lunch.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:16 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • If you're hungry enough you'll eat a regular home cooked meal so I disagree with him taking her and the kids to eat something else while there's a perfectly good meal sitting right there on the table. The only suggestion I'd have is to ask, what do you normally fix for the kids and yourself and then I'd go buy it before they come to visit and if that isn't good enough, then maybe he'll open his eyes and see he's being had.
    As for buying your own kids clothes and Christmas presents... sheesh that's not so uncommon. Depending on where and what you buy of course. I start my shopping early (like August or Sept) and I buy clothes after season where I can get really good clothes (Osh Kosh and Carters) dirt cheap. It's none of your MIL's business how you spend your money (yes it's yours too), that's between you and your hubby. Tell him to go buy the groceries next time so he can know there's no reason for them to not eat there.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 9:31 AM on Nov. 12, 2009