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To the women who have been cheated on...

My husband cheated on me with a co worker about 4 yrs ago. He no longer works there or has contact with the other women. At first I wanted to work things out. We got pregnant by accident. These days... I don't know if I want to be with him. Sex is just sex, I could care less if I see him all day, I don't care what he does anymore. Has anyone experienced this? I feel like I regret everything. I sometimes wish he knew how I felt about it all. I can't talk about any of this because he gets upset. Saying it's been so long ago. I feel like I made a huge mistake of staying with him. Has anyone been there????

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:41 AM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • been there, doing that, i still feel the same way hun. but its just conveniet for me to stay b/c we have a child and another on the way. dumb, i know, but in time when its is right, i will choose my path.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:46 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Wow...that's a tough one. When my ex cheated on me, I felt that way right after it would happen, but eventually I didn't feel that way anymore. Until he started cheating on me all the time, which was why we got divorced. Have you guys tried counseling? I would give that a shot...it may be that even just you by yourself might need counseling, just to have someone to talk to about it, since he won't listen. Maybe you just need to talk to someone, get it all out, and that might help you feel better and start to want to be with him again. I'd at least try that before just giving up and walking away, especially since you put in so much time into this. Good luck!
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:48 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Yes, I have been there. And just because it "upsets" him to talk about it DOES NOT mean that you are in anyway over it. He is being selfish, he made that choice and there are consequences, If there is any hope of working this out you both will have to talk about, see a marriage couseler maybe?
    Just because it was 4 years ago doesn't mean that it has disappeared.
    chefronswife

    Answer by chefronswife at 9:48 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • It's been almost exactly a year since my husband told me he cheated on me and it's been one rollercoaster ride. I told myself if he ever cheated on me I would leave him but it's a lot harder then it looks. I then told myself that he is entitled to one mistake. We have talked through everything and he has gained my trust back and I'm honestly happier then I ever been. The only way you can get past this and move on is if you talk through it and he gains your trust back. If you just dont want to try anymore then maybe you should try therapy or you need to move on
    drs1206

    Answer by drs1206 at 9:58 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • been there and it hard to get over it! it has being about the same time i have forgiving him, but not forgotten. so i guess i make it harder on myself, sometimes i just want to take off but it is hard. so if u can forgive him u might have a chance but if u cant u really need to move on cuz its not easy. We still have fights over it. UR NOT ALONe
    mommyoftow

    Answer by mommyoftow at 10:10 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • " I can't talk about any of this because he gets upset. Saying it's been so long ago."

    That's his way of making YOU feel guilty for bringing it up becasue HE does not want to own up to what he did. Been there, done that.

    I tried to reconcile with my (then) husband. we went to marriage counceling, and he did therapy on his own. I was pg. when i found out he cheated, so i thought by trying to work it out was best for my baby. As time went by i could not get over it, probably b/c he wanted to "forget about it", "didn't want to talk about it" so we quite talking. He always used to say too "it's been one year..two years". He started cheating again. I kicked him to the curb. He's my ex now. I'm more than happy with life now. He's remarried now too. He cheats on her too. And now, he tells people he didn't really cheat on me? LOL.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:37 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

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