Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I know there are tons of questions about porn but I have another one! I am not looking to join him so please not replies like that! Thanks

I know there have been tons of questions about this I am sure but I have another one! I met my husbnad 4 years ago. I was 18 and he was 29 . One day when I was on his computer I found a TON of porn. Some of it was so nasty it made me feel sick. I realized that he had been single before me so I talked to him about it and let him know that I didn't think it was right for him to look at porn when he was with me.. He said ok and of course 4 years later we are married now and have had lots of talks about it and now he still looks at porn he is just hiding it from me now. He does it on his work computer at work!! The last conversation we had about it, he basically said i was not being fare because he thinks its perfectly fine and I should care what he thinks!! He was just being a smart butt! He thinks there is nothing in the world wrong with looking at porn. I feel like he is being disrespectful toward me and lying!

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 10:39 AM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (11)
  • Im with you and I too find it very disrespectful. A lie is a lie no matter what and I would feel very betrayed. Your husband should be understanding to your feelings about it and if it bothers you then he should stop looking at it. If he likes watching porn so much then maybe just watch it together if your comfortable with that.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:45 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • wish I had an answer that you would like. I've been married for 18 years and could give a ratts ass about whether my hub looks at porn or not. Only time it would be a problem is if he used the porn instead of ME. If the porn became an addiction, then there would be issues. But neither is a problem in our home. He's very respectful and loving towards me

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 10:45 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I would rather my man look at porn(He don't though, I bought him nasty cards-when I went to ac, he don't even no where they are-he is not into it), then go do it, as long as it is not freaky.
    Like child, animals or anything like that, what else would make you sick?

    If he is still making love to you, you should not worry.

    We forget we are human, and some people like diffrent things.

    Answer by KFree907 at 10:46 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • There is a group on here for porn addicts and you might find better help joining that group. Some women are fine with it while others are not. In that group you will find women that think like you and can help you better. Q@A section is really not the place for help because of the different views. You will get answers like "its normal", " join him" etc.. in this forum. I hope this helps..

    Answer by midnightmoma at 10:47 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • i just caought my dh doing it too and i've since tried to have sex with him and he can't get it up for me....tell me about betrayed! anyways yeah i'd be super pissed and since i am at my dh, i told him he can wack off since he can get it up for those whores and i'm not setting myself up for disappointment with him

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:49 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • thats how guys are made though.. i dont think its wrong.. guy and girls are made to look at the oposit sex.. its not unnormal.. and i dont think hes trying to disrespect you.. its just something he obiusly did before you and i dont think you should make him feel gulity youve been together for four years its not like hes cheating on you.. hes not having sex with those people hes just looking..thats what they make porn for...

    Answer by mrm1787 at 10:52 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • 949 anon my husband I think, is addicted to porn. We started sex at one point and he was flipping me back and forth up and down all over which in time before then was really unusual for him. Now I check his history and if there's no porn for four days or more we might be intimate. More frequent porn is a turn off for me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:56 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • some guys have watched it all there lives.. and its just normal as watching the new show of desperate house wifes.. my husband hardly watches the movies. he will go to a site and see if they have new clips.. it must be aguy thing.. my husband at least asked me if it bothered him.. i did when we first got together but not anymore.. it is a fantacy nothing more.. or in my hubbies case he just likes too look at the positons that are his favorate because it reminds him of how good it feels. I think it is just somthing different to look at .. eye candy if you will. If it starts to affect how he acts toward you then it is a problem..

    But i ask this.. can your seriously expect him to stop doing something he did before he met you... thats like asking a guy not to watch sunday football..... either accept it or dont in this case.. his is already hiding it..

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Porn sets up unrealistic expectations for men about how women should act in bed. That being said, my dh and I have a very active and edgy sex life - he could never be looking at porn because there's anything I won't do or it's not often enough.
    Saying all men do it is just giving men an excuse. There are men that don't. And he should respect your feelings about it just as much as he expects you to respect his.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • What do you do when someone you love asks you to do something that you feel is unreasonable? You argue about it, then if the partner keeps asking for something unreasonable, you lie about it. Are you in the wrong? Maybe, but you have to pick your battles.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:10 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.