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This is update from my last question. My husband was having a verbal affair with two different women. I decided to email them!!

Well, yes I love my husband. He is a really nice guy. He treats me well. He cooks , cleans and helps with the kids on the weekends. If I need him for anything he is always there! That's why this all makes me so sick! Well, I decided to email the girls he was talking to. And one girl was very nice and has talked to me a lot about it. She said she is married and to her it was just flirting. That she thinks it might have been more to him but she has not talked to him a few months now. She said he asked her for pictures several times and she told him she tons of pictures on myspace. She said she ended up getting the feeling that he wanted a different kind of pictures. She said she felt like if he could have taken it further he would have but she is in a different state. The other girl said the have had a crush on each other for a long time and she is sorry she did this...CONTINUED

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:02 AM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (14)
  • And that they have never did anything together besides talk and send pictures back and fourth...Would this be enough for you to walk out? I mean the fact that he was asking this other girl for pictures when I am his wife! The fact that he some how had a crush on 3 women one who is his wife! I don't know if I can deal with this! I think I am scared to leave because he is great husband besides this!!! I think I'm afraid I'll never find anyone else like him..I know its stupid. But, I also love him but I feel as if I am being stupid because I would NEVER do this to him! And I thought that went both ways but now I know I am wrong! I don't know what to do!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:05 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • have you confronted him about it??. i mean you could try counsiling ask him why he did it.. if hes such a great guy he will tell you ad youll work it out if he doesnt want to try anything and wont talk then leave i mean you gave him a chance right..
    mrm1787

    Answer by mrm1787 at 11:08 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I guess I don't understand why women feel the need to talk to the other woman. The person you need to be talking to (imo) is your Husband. Have you sat down and talked with about this, or is this something you are willing to overlook and just live with? Your choice is your choice, no judgement's here, but I think you are interrogating the wrong party.
    kc932

    Answer by kc932 at 11:08 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I personally believe if both parties are will to work at the marriage then yes it can be saved. I also believe that you need to look deep and see what part you played in this there is something he is not getting from you and is seeking it out in other women. Ask his hopefully he will be honest and tell you why he did what he did
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Yes, that would be enough to have the grounds to leave. However, it's your choice, and if you think he can honor your trust from here on out, then you can give him a 2nd chance, but if you do that, make sure you can REALLY forgive him, and not let it cause issues in your marriage long after it happened. He has to be open, honest, and willing for you, and you have to forgive him, and not hang it over his head for the next 10 years every time you're mad at him.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Yes we have talked about it. It has been 4 months and he just seems to think I should be over it by now! He said it was a stupid mistake and he had not reason to do it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:09 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Yes we have talked about it. It has been 4 months and he just seems to think I should be over it by now! He said it was a stupid mistake and he had not reason to do it.

    No... do not let him get away with that. He know why he did it he just does not want to tell you why
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:11 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • It sould be a diversion . I once talked to a guy from grammar school and it was so similar to your story. I could not stand him. He was always bashing his wife all the time. He would flaunt the fact about how he would cheat with emoitonally or physically becasue his wife was a b**tch. I felt bad for her . He would play the victim card all too well and saw through his act. I ignored him and just blocked him and finally he got the pic. GL and unlike those other ladies , they need to wake up and realize he will never leave you for them. But to stop the bs act and leave your man alone and to work on your marriage.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:12 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • At this point, you need to make the choice to either stay, love him (faults and all) work on the relationship, and move past his stupid choice, or to give up. Being on the fence is the problem. Once you commit to something and seeing it through, you'll be able to start moving on.

    Personally, having been in a similair situation, I'd recommend staying. Make sure he knows if there are any conditions to that. (I'm a fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me type--- he knows he got his "get out of jail free" card that time, and I won't be nice next time.) It sounds like you've generally got a good man. The fact is, we're all human, and we all screw up. He screwed up this time. As long as he learns from his mistakes and doesn't keep repeating them, accept his fault and be glad it didn't go further than the internet.
    IrishMommaC

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 11:15 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • It did go further though. There were tons of phone calls and text message when he was out of town and here on his way home from work. 20 minute calls!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:20 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

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