Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I get over this?

My husband made a comment about a month ago (a month after i had our baby boy) he said "you should try and hurry and get your pre-pregnancy body back, it really helped me with my porn addiction" This comment hurt me in so many ways. I guess #1 was he blamed me for the problems he has with his sex addiction. #2 i have really low self esteem and anorexia, you can bet it didn't help those problems.
He has apologized and told me it wasn't true and he was just being hurtful because of his low self esteem. but i can't get over it, i really don't think he finds me attractive. I don't think anyone finds me attractive. I can usually only get myself to eat one small meal a day now, anything else I throw up because i'm so stressed about my self image. I don't have any insurance right now so i can't go to counseling for my eating disorder. what should i do? please don't bash.


Asked by Anonymous at 11:29 AM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Take one thing at a time. First, the baby should be top priority. You have to keep up your strength for the baby. You HAVE to eat to have energy. If you won't eat real food then drink protein drinks and take vitamins. Your man may have low self esteem but he's also selfish and insensitive. Let him deal with his own issues. You have to concentrate on you. If you don't eat then you damage your organs and you know full well you could die. If you die then no one wins and the baby is left without his mom. So take it slow and figure out priorities and go from there. If you want to be selfish and kill yourself by not eating then make plans for the baby to have another mom. I know I sound mean but I'm a grandmother and went through this crap with my dd. I told her that she has to eat or I'm coming to visit. lol She started eating! At least do soups and work up to solid food. Hugs.

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:22 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I'm so sorry.

    There are medical and psychiatric clinics that have sliding fee schedules. My son has bipolar disorder and he works and he still doesn't have to pay anything for his visits or meds.

    There must be websites with info and some kind of support system.

    Please try to get help.

    Answer by Gailll at 11:36 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Kick him in the nuts and say "did that help any?"

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:39 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I agree with anon 39. I would probably do that. But chances are you've been dealing with him treating you this way for a long time. You will probably feel much better about yourself when your not with someone who puts you down regularly.

    Answer by Christina2135 at 11:47 AM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • First of all, you really need to try and eat more meals, even if they are considered more of a snack, because starving yourself can make things worse, I'm sure you're a beautiful woman who is possibly dealing with baby blues on top of all the other stresses in your life. I would write ina journal how you're feeling, and explain to your husband that his support is something you need in a positive light not a negative one. And maybe you two could work out together. I know after having both of my children I felt the same way, and I noticed that as I worked out more frequently, I felt better because I was out doing something, even if it's jsut for 15 minutes a day, it might help with both you and your husbands self-esteem. And we're all here for you if you need to talk too.

    Answer by LilManCaiMommy at 12:00 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Gonna take a little leap here... you mention sex addiction... typically that involves cheating. Is this when your problems with self image began? Is this true, diagnosed sex addiction, or it is an excuse for him to cheat and constantly use porn? Stop abusing yourself to try to please a careless asshole. How "big" of him to admit that he was projecting. Sounds to me like he knows what to say that sounds authentic to mess with your mind. Of course I'm making alot of assumptions. Your self image problems seem to go way beyond the physical - work on those as they will bring you the most rewards and your physical appearance won't matter as much and you will take care of yourself when you value yourself in other ways. If HE doesn't value you as you deserve don't take that shit... has he lost any hair, gained any weight in the past 9 months? What happens when you start showing signs of aging... is he going to talk crap about that?

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:43 PM on Nov. 12, 2009