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How can you learn to trust people?

I will be absolutely honest I use to have friends still have a few, but its hard to really trust when I have been treated so badly. My formely best friend slept with my husband which he is my ex. And now I have a very hard time trusting. I could explain more but its really hard. Thanks for any advice I get or make new friends I can make friends with and start a new life with new friends.


Asked by Amrnangel at 12:50 PM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • This is how I look st it. We are all human, we all make mistakes. This is not an excuise for bad behavoir, but just realizing that when you become friends with someone they will disappoint you one way or another, big or small. Now, I do think its important to weeed out our good friends and distance ourselves from friends that make foolish choices (not just with us but others), but even our very close friends can make mistakes, My husband cheatedf when we were dating. It took a long time to trust and forgive. Then last year he was going to leave me and we worked through it. I trust my husband because I know his heart, but it doesn't mean he won't make mistakes, we all do. At the same time I do not put my trust in people. I can't because people just aren't trustworthy 100% of the time. But I do put my trust on God because I know God is faithful, good and knows everything! Only with Him do I find security.

    Answer by Precious333 at 2:20 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Trial and error is the best way but sometimes we just need to trust on blind faith.

    Answer by admckenzie at 1:29 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I think what you need is to learn how to choose friends and husbands who are trustworthy. Sometimes, because we want relationships so badly, we simply don't use good judgment when it comes to who we allow into our lives. It is a good idea to move very slowly when getting to know people. Learn to listen to what they say and watch what they do. There will be clues as to what their true character is. If you catch a person in one lie, it is safe to assume that he lies about many thing. If he takes something from someone else, it is likely he will also take things from you. If he tells others that he will do something and doesn't follow through, that's another indication of weak character. If a person uses habit forming substances, that is an indication of a dependent personality. The second you recognize poor character, that's your clue not to trust. You can only trust persons with good character.

    Answer by NannyB. at 1:34 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • You have to just go by their character when you're making friends. If someone says "I've heard that they...." you need to consider it, ask them about it, then make your decision on if that's someone you want in your life. We've all made bad choices and a person who's learned from it will say "yes, I did ... and let me tell you, it was a huge mistake and I hope I never make that one again".
    Your ex was just as much to blame as you know, as the ex friend. It's hard to trust again but what I personally do is I never put my friend or husband in the situation for them to be alone etc. We can all hang out (her hubby, my hubby, she and I) with our kids but we don't go to each other's house if the other female's not home or call each other's hubby for any reason other than when there's as medical problem/emergency (I don't even know her hubby's number and don't want to).
    Trust is hard, but it can be done. Watch for red flags!

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:50 PM on Nov. 12, 2009