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Friend DRAMA

I am a young mother (no bashing) of soon to be 3 children. I never got to experience the "party" scene. As I graduated high school 8 months pregnant with my first DD. I have about 4 really close friends from high school. I graduated in '07. 2 of them, have children, so they understand. But, my other 2 close friends have no children. They don't seem to understnad that I can't just dtich my kids to go party, i've tried to explain this to them, and they get made everytime I tell them No. I just hate that I have to loss GREAT friends becuase they have no kids and I do and they just don't understnad. Just venting. I would LOVE to meet some young moms in my area, for playdates, i stay in redford MI. I have a 2 year old and a 4 month old. Baby #3 is due in May/June. Thanks for listening to my venting.

Answer Question
 
Ari0825

Asked by Ari0825 at 1:28 PM on Nov. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • This is a really common young mommy problem. I'm sorry to say that we often end up losing childless friends for this reason. Better to make friends with more young than to try and make girls with no kids understand.

    pixie_stix

    Answer by pixie_stix at 1:33 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Thanks. It just sucks that I have to lose them. But, your right, they will NEVER understand. =(
    Ari0825

    Answer by Ari0825 at 1:35 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • they're not great friends if they are getting mad at you for chosing your kids over a night of "fun" their loss, not yours
    josiesmommy00

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 1:35 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • it isnt just for young moms, i had my first child at 25. same thing happened, my friends who still did not have kids and partied kinda fell to the wayside, i talk to them on facebook but we cant have the same kind of friendship so it doesnt work out well.
    AmaliaD

    Answer by AmaliaD at 2:15 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Sorry, but they just won't understand until they have children of their own. :(
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 2:16 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • It's pretty common. Luckily I have great friends that even though they didn't have kids, they still stick around! :) Kudos to you for not ditching your kids. That's what makes a mom a mother!
    SAMNMAYASMOM

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 3:29 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • While I agree that any mom may find her friendships with non-parenting peers challenged, I can understand how this might be more frequent with younger moms. For the one that don't get it - you know, the thing is, they were never *great* friends in the first place even if it seemed that way. Great friends wouldn't get mad that you can't party just because they want to/can.

    I'm 36. I have friends that never married and/or never had kids. I have friends I rarely talk to because they just *don't* get that my life has changed with children in it. Other childless friends, however, *DO* get it and we're still just as close as before. The ones that have faded from my life? Well it can be sad and sometimes I miss our time together BUT I also know that we were never really going to be long-term friends if life changes made it impossible to sustain. We were always just "for this time in my life" friends. We all need both kinds.
    ldmrmom

    Answer by ldmrmom at 3:35 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

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