Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

I am so sick of this!

My son, has terrible attendance. He says he does not feel good. I dont know what to do. His grades are still good but he needs to not be such a whimp and go to school if he does not have a fever. I can't man handle him to make him go. I take things away and that doesnt work. Any ideas?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:38 PM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (17)
  • maybe he doesnt feel well.. i quit regular attendance when i was 14 because i had bad asthma and a intestinal issue..i got ibsand crohnes at 14 and i had to miss almost half the year because i couldt in the car and go anywhere..i go in and out of remision and every few months im stuck at home because i cant get in the car or i get sick.. maybe you should take him to the doc for a once over and see what he does..because mine didnt change and i hate doctors..i actually wanted to go to the doctor..
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:43 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • take everything away except a blanket and pillow and obviously his food. Ground him to his room and let him earn back everything. I would also find out if there are any issues going on at school.
    mamakirs

    Answer by mamakirs at 1:44 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Call the truant officer.
    EireLass

    Answer by EireLass at 1:46 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • well i just grad 2 yrs ago from hs and i did that alot cuz i got picked on and didnt have very many friends. i had no one to talk to and went down a bad path. i honestly dont know how to fix it cuz boys wont talk. my brother is 16 and has tons of friend does decently in school but always skips we recently found out he smokes pot. im not an experienced mom so i don't think i can help but i would try talking to him to see y he doesn't want to go but u prob already tried that.
    deanna89

    Answer by deanna89 at 1:46 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • You take things away? That will make him want to go to school? That will make him feel better?

    Stop punishing him. Punishing does not teach good behavior. At his age it will make him sneak and resent or hate you. I recommend the book How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk.

    Using punishment is authoritarian parenting and psychologists know it doesn't work. Authoritative parenting is the style that works best and makes for happy parents and kids. Go to google and search to learn more.

    Has he been to the doctor to have everything checked out? He could really be sick. My parents used to think I was faking and it turns out I have a very serious rare deadly genetic disease that I was lucky to survive.

    Could he be having problems with bulllies at school?
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 1:49 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Check it out at the school... are there bullies who won't leave him alone? If there's nothing wrong at school, take him to the doctor and rule out any medical problems. And if there's nothing wrong with him, then take everything away. My parents used to take away my brother's mattress and door if he didn't behave, along with everything else. He could only do homework and housework, no TV, no phone, no books, nothing. And he slept on the floor.

    You can also take it another step farther. In prison if an inmate misbehaves too many times they put him on "correction loaf" which is nasty bread baked with beans and sprouts so that it's nutritous but flavorless and water. That's what he eats until he straightens up.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:49 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • You take things away? That will make him want to go to school? That will make him feel better?

    Well get a grip lady, rewarding poor behavior doesn't work. Want her to kiss him and hug him more so he will go? Step into the real world.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:50 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I would take him to the doctor and make sure he isn't have some health issues first. Then I would talk to him or maybe have your husband talk to him about whats going on at school. There really could be something bothering him. But if it comes down to it I agree with mamakirs. Everything he has is a privilege except for the basic necessities. Good Luck!

    Frogbaby83

    Answer by Frogbaby83 at 1:55 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Took him to doc, nothing is wrong, he has a girlfriend and many friends. I dont think anything is going on at school. I think he is just lazy, he gets decent grades so he thinks it is fine. Hmmm Going Crazy
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:57 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • When I was in middle school I started trying to stay home from school all the time and failing most of my classes where I had been a straight A student before. I didn't just say I felt sick to stay home, I really FELT sick. After two years of it I attempted suicide and was diagnosed as bipolar. I got to high school and was back to good grades and a good relationship with my mom.
    Please try to rule out actual illness or depression or problems at school before you try harsh punishment.
    Beichan

    Answer by Beichan at 1:59 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN