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How can I ask my husband to help me more with the house chores?

Here is the situation in a nut shell. My husband is laid off and has been for almost a year now. I work more hours now to help out and when I come home the place is a MESS!! I tried asking him in a very nice way to help me out which he will ONLY if I ask! But In my opinion I shouldn't have to ask! On my days off I spend all my time cleaning and can never even get close to getting things caught up because how behind it gets. Also my husband is doing a huge remodeling which keeps him busy and I am very grateful but the house is a priority as far as I am concerned.

I am to the point that I almost want to divide up the chores so things are getting done. Any suggestions on how I can suggest this or any other ideas I can try? He claims the kids are a handful which they can be but I still manage to clean while I have them. Please some help!!!

 
AmyLynn5398

Asked by AmyLynn5398 at 1:50 PM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 17 (3,564 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Try to declutter things in your life. Get rid of excess things sitting around. If you don't have 50 nic nacs then it's 50 less things to dust. Talk to him openly about how you're feeling and see if you can get everyone including the kids on the same page. Let the crook pot become your favorite pan so that there is less stress on cooking for the night.
    baconbits

    Answer by baconbits at 2:00 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I would just do what had to be done and let the rest go. Keep the kitchen cleen. Teach any kids old enough to help. Only use clothes that can be thrown in washer together and come out ok without much sorting.

    I was a single disabled mother with three sons. For many years I was a full time doctoral student. We did things so they were as easy as possible. I had a cabinet for dishes and pots and pans that kids could reach and I could reach from my wheelchair. Just little things like that made a big difference.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 1:56 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • find a time to discuss it when you both are not too tired or hungry etc. Then let him know that having the house a mess all the time is really stressful for you and you don't like ot be stressed all the time because it causes a damper in your relationship with him and the kids. Then say we both need to figure out a way to solve this problem. Should be divide the chores up? hire someone to help out? Aks what he suggest doing, maybe he will have a great solution, or maybe he won't and you can give your opinion on how to deal with it. I think doing it this ways gives him respect and he will be more inclined to helping out if you ask for help rather than telling him to help.
    Precious333

    Answer by Precious333 at 1:56 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Maybe a chore list would help out. Make it so that you and him both have a job that has to be done everyday and then a job that only needs to be done every few days. Also, how old are your children? My 6 year old helps me clean all the time. She picks up toys, dirty laundry and any trash she might see. She also LOVES to clean anything that doesn't run away from her. There is nothing wrong with asking him or your children for help. You said he helps if you ask so that's a good start!!!

    Frogbaby83

    Answer by Frogbaby83 at 2:01 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Ask his mom what he did when he lived at home. It would be easier to get him to do what he's done in the past. Other than that, just ask him to help you but be specific in telling him what you want done. Most men think the home is the wife's domain and they don't like doing anything that might piss her off. He might think you like doing it all. So tell him what you need help with.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:02 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • If he is going to be home he should be cleaning. When he is working again chores should be split. I would talk to him about it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • GOOD LUCK ! ! BECOUSE MY HUSBAN D HASNT WORKED IN A YEAR TOO AND I ASK HIM TO HELP AND HE DIDNT SO I STILL DO IT ALL ! LET ME KNOW ABOUT YOUR HUSBAND AND GIVE ME TIPS !
    lightbulbe

    Answer by lightbulbe at 1:07 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

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