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Am I the only one who DIDN'T ever talk to her mom about female issues?

I was very hesitant to tell her about my first period, I never asked about discharge, and even when I had periods so painful I couldn't get out of my desks at school because my legs were paralyzed, or periods so heavy I was bleeding through a super absorbency pad an hour, I never said a word. I told the school nurse before I told my mom (because I couldn't come up with a lie on the spot about why I needed IB Profin and to lie down lol).

Did anyone else have these issues talking to their mothers about this? Is it normal? I don't want my daughter to have to go through that, I want to be there for her. How can I keep her from falling into my pattern?

 
Ati_13

Asked by Ati_13 at 2:41 PM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Relationships

Level 24 (21,184 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (14)
  • I didn't talk to my mom about anything personal, but I was determined to have a close relationship with my kids. I started talking to them about everything when they were babies and just continued it. As they got older, I started talking to them about periods, kissing, smoking, & things like that because we'd see it at the mall or out somewhere & I used the opportunity to start a discussion. By the time my daughter was a teenager, we were sitting on the floor of her room talking about boys & sex & everything else as easily & freely as any other topic, because I had done it all along. My oldest daughter is now 25 & my oldest son is now 18 & they come talk to me about everything. Neither of them have ever smoked, drank, done drugs, been in trouble with the law, both are virgins & waiting till they are married to have sex. I'm glad I invested the time in building our relationship.

    BlessedMommy64

    Answer by BlessedMommy64 at 3:01 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • No, you're not the only one. And you need to be open and honest with her and make her feel like it is ok to talk to you.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:44 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • The first step in the right direction is that you realize it and don't want your daughter to go through the same thing. Just keep doing what you're doing, keep the lines of communication open and she will feel open to talk to you.
    I didn't talk to my Mom either but it was a different time. I still loved and respected her. Good for you for wanting it to be different!
    MrsLeftlane

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 2:47 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • My mom was very honest and open about everything with me. It might be hard for you at first but just seeing that you need to be that way with your daughter it a big step. When she asks a question just be open and honest but answer it age appropriately and don't give more information then what she asks for (until she comes to an age that she needs to know everything).
    Frogbaby83

    Answer by Frogbaby83 at 2:48 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I have no problem talking about these issues with anyone. I'm not uncomfortable in any way. and my daughter is only 18 months old so I don't have to worry for a while lol. But I just don't want to repeat my mom's mistake. I don't even know what it is about her that made me not want to talk to her. She always was honest with me and told me the truth when I had questions. Maybe it was her big mouth lol.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 2:51 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I wasn't comfortable talking to my Mom about those issues as a young teenager. I don't want my daughter to be that way either, so when she asks me questions I answer them, tell her there's never a stupid question, and just talk about all sorts of things in life. My 4 yr old as well as my 9 year old have walked in while I was on my period on the potty so they both know that it's natures way of preparing our bodies for having babies and it's also a cleansing process. I ask if they have any questions about things I'm talking to them about and when they say "I don't want to know anymore right now" I stop. I talk casually about marriage, relationships, appearance etc and I've found my girls are listening and early talks make things more comfortable for both the child and the parent.
    lisa_ann_p

    Answer by lisa_ann_p at 2:54 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • i learned about that stuff from my friends..not a good recourse ...just open with her and maybe bring up the "issues" long b4 they happen...my boys know about periods(they 6 and 4) ...they asked about the pads i used so i just told them the basics... and when my daughter is old enough to understand i will be telling her too...we also talk about sex with my older 2 ..we rented a movie that had some questionable behavior so had to explain that too...we didnt think a slasher movie involved sex but it did...and i rather have them hear about that stuff from me and my husband and not their friends..i ended up in some bad situations cause my parents kept everything hush hush
    gothmama91

    Answer by gothmama91 at 3:00 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I never talked to my mother about anything really... it was just the way it was for me and still is. However, my daughter and I talk about EVERYTHING. I was the first person she called the first time she had sex, she is comfortable asking me any questions. It's just the way I raised her... you don't have to repeat relationship patterns.
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 3:08 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I never talked to my mom about anything...she's not exactly someone who would care to listen about that kind of stuff though.
    mamie2shoes

    Answer by mamie2shoes at 3:09 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I NEVER EVER had any sex talks with my mother. She never talked to me about my perios none of it. I learned it all on my own....which is the worste way to learn it. I have already begun my puberty talk with my daughter. She is almost 8, but she knows what a period it.
    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 3:34 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

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