Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what should i ask today when i meet with the woman who might be my doula?

hey ladies, i'm so grateful that someone has offered to attend my birth as my doula for free! she is a doula in training, so she has to attend a certain number of births as part of training.

we have so far just corresponding via email and i have a few questions i want to ask already. but basically my plan is just to get to know her a bit and decide if i think we are a good fit.

she has had a baby at the hospital here, all natural which i think is a challenge at this hospital so i'm leaning toward a hospital an hour away that is more natural-friendly. she said she will attend my birth whether it's here or there.

ok i would very much appreciate some tips on what to ask, especially stuff that i might not think of or that might not come up ;)

Answer Question

Asked by Stefanie83 at 3:23 PM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Pregnancy

Level 16 (3,121 Credits)
Answers (5)
  • There are long lists of questions you could ask her, like a job application. I wouldn't do that. I would try to get to know her. The two of you should make up a birth plan so she knows what you want for your birth.

    Answer by Gailll at 3:29 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • I have a post with some helpful info, lol!!   ;-D

    Doula info!!



    Answer by doulala at 3:30 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • While asking a list of prepared questions (don't want to forget anything!), you will be conversing, discussing, getting to know each other. Of course, you can add any additional questions that come up, too.

    Answer by doulala at 3:32 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • You should ask what comfort measures she plans on using during labor, and see if any of them appeal to you. You can ask her to demonstrate if it's something you don't know about (like efflourage, a lot of women don't know what that is lol). Mostly, though, you just need to click with her. That's more than half the battle. You need to trust that she knows her stuff and will help you in any way you want her to.

    Remember that it is not her job to intercede on your behalf with the hospital staff, though. She can help you make decisions, but she is not going to push anything on you. If you're asking "Should I get the drugs?" she's going to say "I can't make that decision for you, but remember how important it was to you that you did this naturally?" She won't tell the nurses to buzz off or anything either, she can only help you make decisions and offer physical and moral support.

    Good luck! I hope she's awesome!

    Answer by Ati_13 at 3:32 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • thanks ladies, these are super helpful so far!

    she already mentioned that if i want to have a natural birth here at this hospital, i would most likely need someone who would stand up for my rights, fight when they push interventions, etc, and that that would probably be my husband, not her. the thing is, my husband would be terrible at that so i know it. that's why i think i will be going to the hospital an hour away. also she said her OB was good but that he is the only good one she knows of here and i feel like with my due date being late june (prime vacation time!) i would end up with a nightmare OB who wouldn't respect my wishes at all.

    thanks again ladies.

    Answer by Stefanie83 at 3:35 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.