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How do know if your being to hard or coddling too much?

My son will be 1yr old on Dec 2nd. He used to get all upset when I left the room, but now its whenever my husband or I leave the room. This is with the other one of us still in the room, he's not alone. I've tried getting him to walk with me, but thats not what he wants. He wants to be picked up and taken with whichever one of us is leaving th room. Also when we scold him or have to speak sturnly to him, such as to tell him "no", he'll get his feelings hurt. He'll cry and want you to hold him and he'll hug you very tightly, but I'm not sure which cry it is when we're leaving the room. The true hurt feelings cry or the mad that he's not getting his way cry. Could it be both? When he wants something and we don't let him have it, he'll get mad, stomp his little feet and sling his little arm around all while crying, but it's not a pittyful cry. When we leave the room it's a totally different one. Any suggestions?

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Asked by jasonslizzy at 4:37 PM on Nov. 12, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (3)
  • It sounds like a case of separation anxiety - - babies and toddlers can often go through that stage in different ways a few different times in the first few years. With my DD, what worked best was singing the "I always come back song" every time one of us left the room - even if it was for only a minute. We would then sing it again when we came back. After about a week, we were able to only sing the song when we were going to be gone for longer stretches of time (as compared to running downstairs to answer the phone, or going to the bathroom). Now we sing it only when she asks us to.
    "My Mommy (daddy) always comes back, she always comes back, she always comes back to get me. My mommy always comes back, she always comes back, she never would forget me."

    Answer by TiffanyMarie80 at 5:10 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Here's a cute youtube video I found of a little girl and her mom singing "my mommy comes back"  :)


    Answer by TiffanyMarie80 at 5:34 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Heh, it's a phase called separation anxiety .. I agree with Tiffany.. and it isn't that he wants his way -- it's that he thinks you're never gonna come back! Awww.. right? Well, just reassure him as much as you can and I would coddle him some about it, because if you don't and just run off every time without giving affection etc. he could get insecure. It'll pass and he'll be independent eventually.. It seems to peak around 9-10 months and gets better around 14-15 months. :)

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:13 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

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