Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Help me this is not normal

I have a 9 year old daughter and 6 year old son...they NEVER get along. I know that sibilings biccer but this is not normal. They cant even be in teh same room at the same time without arguing and screaming at each other. They constantly compete and yell at each other. It is tearing me apart I feel like i am going CRAZY...it is an EVERYDAY EVERY MINUTE thing. I know it sounds bad but i dread picking them up from school knowing how the day is going to go...I am grouchy and cry everynight because i have tried everything i can think of...does andyone have ANY suggestions...i really feel like i am going to have to get some counseling over this I love my kids but it is so hard to be around them and take them around family when they do this..it has taken all the pleasure out of our lives...PLEASE HELP

Answer Question
 
Momof3needshelp

Asked by Momof3needshelp at 5:25 PM on Nov. 12, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Have you talked to there doctor? I would.
    itsallabtthem84

    Answer by itsallabtthem84 at 5:31 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • There is a book Siblings Without Rivalry that may help.
    Gailll

    Answer by Gailll at 5:31 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Do you think the kids are competing for your attention, alot of the times when my kids do it non-stop, they are jealous/mad at each other over something I said or did to one and not the other so they try to out do the other. The I'm better than you type thing and mom noticed... Not saying that is it but I know my kids do it sometimes when they are jealous of the other... Just a thought.
    midnightmoma

    Answer by midnightmoma at 5:43 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • when my sister and i would fight or argue when we were kids my dad would make us kiss and make up...(a kiss on the cheek) and i hated doing that more than i hated her! Maybe if they knew that was going to be their future punishment and if you made them do it once they would leave each other alone. After doing it once they would remember and then all you would have to say is " do you guys want to have to make me make you kiss and make up"...my dad was a real jerk...he would just make kissy noises at us and we knew we were fixing to be in for it...its funny thinking back at it now
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 5:51 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • if you don't like the kiss method you could do something similar...make them do something nice for each other to make up
    shay1130

    Answer by shay1130 at 5:52 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • You just described my brother and me.

    We're VERY close now as adults. There is hope.....unfortunately it might take longer than you hoped! LOL

    If you think it's warranted, have them speak to someone...

    Put them in corners and don't let them speak to each other. Of one starts to speak to the other, they go back in the corner unless it's using nice tones and being polite. Crack down on them for the behavior, get tough, get MEAN. (mean is not abusive when it's necessary...and THEY are the ones who will think you're being mean....)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:42 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Yeah---you can't be "the good guy"....they might get mad at YOU, but that's better than when they are mad at each other. Put down rules, set limits, let them know you are the boss and that you expect them to be kind to each other. MAke them "kiss and make up"...that was a cute suggestion. Just don't let them get away with anything. They have no business upsetting you---
    Lindalu2

    Answer by Lindalu2 at 6:46 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • The 1st thing is, you allow it.... They need to respect you, not having you "work" for them.... It sounds like they run the home, not you.... They need to know, "yesterday" that you will not put up/or take anymore of this behavior... Your the adult here, they are children..... Hope you find a way.... Take Care, Donna....
    dobrd

    Answer by dobrd at 7:16 PM on Nov. 12, 2009

  • Get yourself a spray bottle that shoots a stream. Whenever they start fighting, spray them in the face. It's harmless. Doesn't leave a mark, Gets theie attention fast. I went through the same thing with my 3.
    motherofhope98

    Answer by motherofhope98 at 9:03 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • i don't know if that helps but i read once babysitter notes book and there was mentioned to sit kids who don't agree in front of each other in high chairs and let them have faces one to each other. at 1st they're angry but w/ time they would lough outloud of their faces and play together.
    baby133

    Answer by baby133 at 4:46 PM on Nov. 26, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.