My 3 and a half year old just refuses to potty train... HELP!?!?

One day when you can deal with it - put the potty out in the open (living room?) and let her run around with no pull-up on. My DD hated the feel of pee running down her leg and learned to use the potty after only one accident. Maybe it'll work for you too. But just in case, be prepared to do some clean-up.....

Mind you I have a 20 mth old. And im a stay at home mom.

STOP forcing her. She will train when she is ready. She will not be in diapers or pullups when she graduates from high school.

Sometimes the pull-ups may remind her of a diaper so she might be thinking this is okay to do. Try taking her out to get big girl underwear allow her to pick out the ones she wants. No more pull-ups. This worked for my son. Although every child differs it is worth a try.

ive tried everything. Ive put her in underwear, let her run naked, BTW I dont force her. I just try to encourage it. Reward her. Praise her. But its at the point where its a shocker when she DOES go on the potty not when she goes in her pants. Please dont think I just sit around and dont attempt or that I push too hard.. Im not sure what the case is, but, I dont think my part is the problem.

I think when peopel say "don't force it," they mean to take her lead. Don't TRY to train her until she is ready. Signs of readiness include an interest in doing it. She isn't interested, so she probably isn't ready. There is no magic age for potty training. If she doesn't want to do it now, give it a few month and try again. The more you dwell on it, the more she is going to refuse. Let it go for now.

I'm sorry but though I totally agree with the whole don't push it thing I have to say by 3 and a half (unless there is a delay) we are dealing with a control issue and not a readiness issue. My son turned 3 and a half and I said screw it you are going to potty train now. We set a date and marked it on the calendar. We went to the store and bought underwear and easy up and down elastic waist pants, his choice. On that day we took all the pull-up and put them in the trash (put them in his pajama drawer for nights saved the rest later). When he wet his underwear he had to go and change his own clothes and clean up the floor. We still went out but I made sure to pack lots of extras. Same rules applied though, he changed him self and cleaned up any mess. He was 'trained' more than 80% in 4 days done in less then 2 weeks.

I'm sorry I am no help my 2 then potty trained herself. Have you tried the potty seat on the toilet or a actually mini?

I can completely relate! My daughter will be 3 and will not do it at home. Tried underwear, she didn't care if she was wet, have the potty chair and the cover that goes on the big toilet. I was asked last week to bring in underwear because she was doing great at daycare, but as soon as the underwear were there she never went in the potty again. I have talked to alot of friends and family, and they say wait, when she is ready she will do it. Thats what I am doing. I ask her at meal times and bed times if she has to go potty and she usually says no but sometimes says yes and we get her on the potty and she never goes. Just remember it won't last forever.

When my son was 3 and a half he was perfectly potty trained-naked or out of the house. 100% never wet the floor never wet his pants at daycare or at stores but when you put underwear on him at home he would pee in them every time. I KNEW he knew what he was doing. I finally gave him a warning that the next day he was wearing underwear even in the house and when he wet them he was getting a spanking (just a swat on the butt not a beating) He wet them one time. He was perfect after that. There comes a point where they DO know what they are doing and it IS a power struggle and you DO need to put your foot down. It's not like I was spanking a just learning 2 year old he was 3 and a half and potty trained everywhere but at home. That was ridiculous.