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we are not talking much with my husband this days

we argue almost a week ago, and we just talk the necesary... tonigth he came to bed and said : do you want to have sex? ( I said no , of course) My questions is What is he thinking??? Does he really think I will do it ??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:21 AM on Nov. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • yes. He probably did. Men, well mine anyway, tends to have tunnel vision when it comes to sex! LOL. Also, could he have been thinking that would help bring you back together. My dh sees sex as the end of an argument and proof that aaaallllll are roblems are over!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:30 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Mens I just do not understand them at times. Maybe that was his way of making up, and then you two could discuss the problem after. I am sometimes confused when it comes to men. I have heard the phrase have their cake and eat it to.
    willsurvive

    Answer by willsurvive at 1:38 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Here's something for you to consider: A man who is unfulfilled sexually will almost never hear anything you have to say. If you want him to listen to you, you must keep his love tank full to the brim. Using sex as a bargaining tool is a very bad idea.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 8:51 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I don't think you should have sex just to "make him happy". That's just wrong. clearly, if he was taking care of your needs, you'd take care of his too. A relationship is two sided. I am amazed by women who cater to their husbands needs while the wife gets treated like sh*t. It's not right. Women need to stand up for themselves and their dignity. You are not a piece of ass, you are a woman with needs and desires. You are not his maid or sex toy, you are his wife, and he needs to treat you with respect.

    Communication is the key to any good relationship, sex is just the bonus prize. Giving into him and his want for sex is excusing his behavior and allowing him to get his own selfish needs met without considering yours.

    Stick to your guns. Don't do it. Talk to him about going to counseling. Most men won't and if that's the case you need to figure out if you really want that kind of relationship or if it's time to move on.
    CinderAmethyst

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 11:11 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • It's probably how he was trying to make up. When we were first together my husband would make up from an argument with sex, and it was okay at the time. We then had one particular argument, got over sort of, had sex, but the next day everything was still on my mind and my feelings were still hurt because he had not actually said he was sorry. So we got into it again and I told him what I was feeling, that it hurt because he had never even acknowledged he was wrong (and he was) or apolgoized. I said, what you think because we had sex last night everything is fine? and he said YES, that's actually what he thought, he thought that was the apology! He knows better now and will say he is sorry if he has done something to apologize for. So just tell him you need him to speak the words, and then the make up sex will be better.
    TarLion

    Answer by TarLion at 6:46 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

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