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Husband is going to jail.....How should I feel.

He was ordered to serve 90 days but now he he only has to serve a weekend. He owed alimony and did not pay it. He claims she owes him money and that is why he did not want to pay. On top of that he has been in a legal battle with his ex for over 3 years. He hired a lawyer who told him it was a possiblity that he might end up having to pay it. So now he owes the lawyer and his ex. I guess I am upset because he did not meet his obligation. She owes him money but she is broke. He will never get the money owed to him. I think both of them are petty and I am tired of everything being about who did what. It just seems like they fight like children. While we dated I never knew there was a legal battle. He hid it from me. So I am kinda upset. He wants me to feel sorry for him. I don't. I love him and will stand by him...I feel he is wrong and needs to take care of his responsibility.


Asked by Anonymous at 10:59 AM on Nov. 13, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • It's his mess he created and hid from you because he knew he was wrong for not fulfilling his obligations. Apparently the court doesn't feel she owes him money? Either way... not about you. Stick to what you believe is right which is that he is paying the price for not fulfilling his obligations. Maybe a few days with nothing else to do but think it might sink in that he better fulfill his obligations to YOU. I have dated men who I later found out weren't paying child support, etc., and found that disgusting when I knew they blew money on stupid crap and found out. It really changes how you look at someone. Sounds like you being willing to stand by him and let him suffer the consequences of his own mistakes is exactly what is called for.

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:22 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I think you're handling this just fine. Just stay strong!

    Answer by mamie2shoes at 11:02 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I agree with you

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:07 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I agree, there is really nothing you can do about it.. its his you feel i would say its fine to feel the way you do..

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Absolutely. I wouldn't play in to his pity party. It is a situation of his own making. I would also tend not to trust someone who lied by omission about a legal battle with an ex wife.

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 11:13 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I agree. No pity party. He should do his time, and get it over with.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 11:31 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Your DH actually tried to use his ex's bad behavior (not paying) to justify his own bad behavior (not paying). Suck stupid logic. If I were you, I'd go to the court and beg to have him serve the 90 days just to get a break from him.

    Answer by SlightlyPerfect at 11:39 AM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I would wonder how much of a fight he will give you if you ever split up. You know he won't pay up. I would make sure you had a job and had your own money. To be honest he does not sound like a great guy. You don't know his ex's side of the story only what he tells you. Again know if he did this to her and won't pay up he will do the same to you. Watch your back.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:32 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Just do what you can for you and him anything else is his problem. You can only do so much.

    If you have no kids with him...let him go find someone else without all this drama.


    Answer by Anonymous at 1:02 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • He is serving a weekend or he got weekends? Two very different things...

    My husband went to jail for two months in the beginning of out relationship, before we were married. It was very hard, but I made it. And I'm sure you will, too.

    Answer by hiddenstrength at 1:55 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

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