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If you were a SAHM how did you leave your husband?

What steps did you take?
Did you move in with your parents?
Did you get your own place?
Did you get PA?
Did you end up going back or were you successful?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 12:48 PM on Nov. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (9)
  • You have it made you are a sahm...Why would you want to leave your dh?

    Are you bored?

    Remember this it isn't always greener on the other side so think this through and if you do leave him someone else will get him so becareful. Unless he beats you then nevermind.

    I hoping you are just bored at home and want more to life well you will have to go out and find what makes you happy. GL


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 12:59 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • What steps did you take? I found out he was cheating so I opened a checking account in my own name and took half our joint account out and put it in my account. Did the same with all our accounts. Took me a bit but I had half of everything in accounts in my own name when he got the divorce papers.
    Did you move in with your parents? Nope. I changed the locks and he had to move out.
    Did you get your own place? Kept the house. He has to pay me 5k in alimony a month and another 6k in child support I can easily pay the 2400 a month mortgage. He has to pay he is an attorney with my fathers law firm so he will lose his job if he screws me over.
    Did you get PA? nope
    Did you end up going back or were you successful? I am still home with my kids. My youngest starts school next year and I will resume working at my fathers law firm. My ex and I get along and will work fine together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:13 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Wow there could be many reasons to want to leave!! Obviously she didn't need us to approve of her leaving she had a general question about how. Depends if you think it may be a mutual agreement on ending the relationship you may be able to share the house until you can become financially stable. If not then a parent may be best if this is not an option maybe PA. If he is abusive you just go to the local women's shelter and they will tell you what you can do.

    Answer by PsychMommie at 1:14 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I worked a PT job at night and on weekends while he watched our DD. Then during the day I stayed home and did daycare for my sister's DD (just her). The PT work, plus the money I got for babysitting plus child support was barely enough for me to scrape by in a small apartment for us. Once she was onld enough to go preschool I enrolled her and worked FT making much more money. It was hard and we did without some things in that first year but never without the necessities. It CAN be done. Good luck. :)

    Answer by deadheadjen at 1:24 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • OP here:

    I have lived the last three years in a VERY emotionally draining marriage. I'm severely depressed, losing weight, can't eat, and he has no desire to do better. Him going to dinner and movies with female "friends" while I sit at home with the kids is a good sign that it's over. I think 3 years with counseling was a good go. But I'm fed up now. He says he wants a divorce and was supposed to be moving out next month. Now he's saying January. So I'm going to take it upon myself to remove myself from this situation because he won't be a man and leave already.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:37 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • What steps did you take? i planned for 3-4 months to leave when the school year started, so my kids would be in school during the day (kindergarten and 2nd grade, youngest was in 4 year preschool 1/2 day) I saved money he didn't know I had and borrowed some from my parents to get started. I found a rental condo and a job - moved in on a weekend when he was away from home and started my new job that monday. He kept the kids on the weekends (i worked on mon, tues, fri and sat) Combo of sitter and parents in the afternoons.
    Did you move in with your parents? No
    Did you get your own place? Yes - rented a 3 bdr 2.5 bath condo
    Did you get PA? Yes, for about 6 months I got WIC and $50/month in foodstamps
    Did you end up going back or were you successful? I left a little over 4 years ago, I'm not remarried with a 4th child, pregnant with my 5th and happier than I've ever been!

    Answer by missanc at 1:41 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • *not = now. Sorry!

    Answer by missanc at 1:42 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Talk to family and see if you could stay with them. If they say yes, start looking for a job and get one. when you get will feel alot better about leaving. I would also take alittle money from him every week a put aside till you are ready to leave. I always have around 1000 in the house just incase. You can do this!! I know that you say you will, but when it comes's FEELS really hard. I should know, cause I'm still with my hubby, but I have a job and some money stashed in the house just in case he messes up again. I wish you the best of luck...we all need that

    Answer by GotToHaveFaith at 1:47 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I stayed, got a job, saved all my money and moved out

    Answer by admckenzie at 6:24 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

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