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My 18m old found his porn

Porn I've never seen before porn that's not suppose to exist because my husband is a porn addict and it's forbidden in my house. I feel we've been doing so good for the last six months up until he went on a 4 week deployment. He got back about a week ago and has been waking up in the middle of the night and getting on the Internet. I confronted him yesterday saying I just have a feeling he's looking again and he swore up n down he's not. Then this morning my son was playing in my room and walked out with 2 DVDs seems like they came from his sock drawer since it was open. I confronted him but he said they were from years ago n we must have missed throwing them out. I've been in that sock drawer a hundred times and I'm not stupid. Please without bashing and I know some will cause u can put anon how do I get him to quit with the lies I'm so fed up with it.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:58 PM on Nov. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (15)
  • You can't. Porn is more important to him than you. It is his heroin. I am not bashing this is reality.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:01 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I get the whole you dont want your kid to find the porn but other than that what is so wrong with your husband watching it? My husband watches and we watch it together.
    armywife2009101

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 1:02 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Well, is he truly an addict? Addiction is when it has bad effects on your life and you can't stop anyway. It's when everything starts to fall apart around you and you just can't make yourself quit. I think a LOT of women say their SO's are porn addicts when really, they're just men who like porn and don't feel like they need to have their wives' permission. Does this porn watching take away from his everyday life? Is it affecting his health?

    If he really is addicted, and not just rebelling because you said no to it, then seek professional help. If he's not really addicted then talk to him about it. Come to a compromise. He shoudl view it less, and you should learn to live with it.
    Ati_13

    Answer by Ati_13 at 1:03 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • my husband is an alcoholic and i recently had to give him a choice of me or the booze. addiction is addiction regaurdless. tell him he has put your child in danger by having it in your home and you cant have your child in a situation like that. and that he can either quit or you will go somewhere else untill he does. FYI there are groups just like AA for his situation. look up local groups and hand him the schedule and tell himn if he needs help and support its there.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:04 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • i had this issue with my ex husband....you cant make him stop...its like a drug addict, he has to want to do it himself....you may have to give him an ultimatum, but be ready to hold up your end if he doesnt follow through
    LoriaAnn

    Answer by LoriaAnn at 1:04 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • He has to want to change you can't change him everything else is up to you. GL
    Butterfly1108

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 1:05 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Armywife I understand what your saying and I was there once to but when porn consumes your life and when your spending the money for bills on pornography and especially when you start cheating on your wife because the porn isn't good enough then there is a problem with it btw I'm the op and yes this has all happened
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:07 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Yes he is an actual addict he admitted it to me after I caught him cheating he went to a counselor and we starting going to church activities 3 times a week it helped but I'm positive he's relapsed n I don't know what to do
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • back to counseling...
    figaro8895

    Answer by figaro8895 at 1:15 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Porn is wrong when he's not performing. Porn is wrong when both parties aren't okay with it. Addiction needs help and he needs to seek it out. Good luck.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:54 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

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