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Why does everyone see the need to question your parenting choices?

I have a very large and very involved family. I love them and all the help and support they give me and Gabriel, but they won't let me do anything the way I want! They think THEIR way is the ONLY way, and my choices don't matter. Is there any way to make them back off a bit?


Asked by MommyToBe1023 at 1:45 PM on Nov. 13, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

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Answers (7)
  • Haha.. cause ALL OF US mom's seem to know what works best.. forgetting that not all kids are the same and not all sitautions are the same.. When I had my son, everyone gave me advice, some was helpful but most of the time I wanted to scream ... I just laugh now but my son is 2 and It gets less and less once they start talking.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:46 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Just tell them my mother in law was that way and i felt like my son was hers because she always wanted things done this way so one day i just told her that im not going to kill my son i have common sense would you please just keep your advice to yourself

    Answer by armywife2009101 at 1:49 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Best advice I can off is to advise them:

    Life is often a lessen best learned through trial and error. While I appreciate your advice, I know you will not always be there to help me. So I need to learn some of these things on my own so I can apply them to different situations, too. The best way to do this is for me to make the mistakes my self. Please understand that by allowing me to do this, you are helping make me a stronger person.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:06 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • What do you mean by "won't let you"? Don't let them push you around!!! You are the parent!!!!

    Answer by rkoloms at 2:18 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • LOL If it were up to my family I wouldn't breastfeed (so they could babysit overnight, don't I know I am depriving him of great-grandparent and grandparent bonding time?!) and I also wouldn't babywear (strollers are so much better for your back!), nor would I have held off on solids til he was 7 months (don't I know he'll sleep better if you feed them solids at 4 months!! Funny thing he was sleepin through the night at 5 months and NO SOLIDS!.. I was lucky!) Ehhh don't let your family dictate what you do with your baby. Do your own research and decide things for yourself!! If there is a genuine health concern regarding breastmilk, ask an LC or two. If there is a genuine health concern otherwise, ask a doctor or two. Don't let anyone push you around and just tell people it's YOUR baby - THE END.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:37 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Well, lucky for me I do not have a family who tries to control my parenting decisions. I Have always been a strong-willed person and the fact that I am more educated than any other member of my side of the family pretty much ensures that I am not offered unsolciited advice. If you present a strong front and behave like you know what you're doing, people tend to question you less, even you're own family! It can be done.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Nobody has any choice over how you raise your child. If you're allowing them to parent for you, then there isn't going to be any remedy to the situation. You tell them that though you value your opinion you think that your way is working for you both. You are the first and last voice to your child's well being and upbringing. Nobody can tell you how to raise your child. Therefore, you just need to be honest with your family and tell them to back off.

    Answer by JazzlikeMraz at 3:25 PM on Nov. 14, 2009