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I just discovered that my husband

has left me the bare minumum of financial support if he dies and is leaving EVERYTHING else to his kids from previous marriage including a huge life insurance policy. How would you feel? What do I do?

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Asked by Anonymous at 6:25 PM on Nov. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (13)
  • so your a second wife. I think I would understand if he left everything to HIS kids, but if he dies and the kids are still young and you have to take care of them, then you should get something to help with that. After all their not your kids. Second I would figure out a way to protect yourself, since your husband feels the need not to do so for you. I would have a talk with him.


    Answer by soonmommyof3 at 6:27 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I'm thinking that you're meaning he didn't leave anything to the kids you had with him?


    Answer by tntmom1027 at 6:34 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I'd be "requesting" (I'd say it nicely, but mean it in a huge way) that you get more than the bare minimum--- if he doesn't want to divert support from his other children, then he needs to take out *more* life insurance to cover his "new" responsibilities.

    Answer by IrishMommaC at 6:41 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Sorry - I forgot to mention - his kids are grown and in their 20s. We are both older and he did not disclose this to me when we got married last year. He is financially VERY successful and I come from a background of average means. I didn't marry him for his money but had the impression that if he died before me, I'd be able to get along. I don't want his kids' inheritance. Just the ability to remain comfortable and not have to panic and scramble. I think a life insurance policy would work fine. But I'm angry because it took a lot of probing for me to find this out and if I had been more naive, I would have never known until he died.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:48 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • If you have no children with him then this set up sounds fair and reasonable to me. It doesn't matter if his children are grown or not...they are his kids and you are his 2nd wife. His kids are more entitled to compensation for his death than you are.

    Answer by ThrivingMom at 7:29 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Get your own life insurance on him. I would be angry, not because he left it to them, but because he didn't care enough to put some aside for you. Do you have any children with him? Have you tried talking about it with him?

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • It is not fair and reasonable for him to do this. He is leaving quite a hefty sum to his kids. I don't care about that. But I found out that I'd have to sell the house and give the profit from the house to the kids too. He would be leaving them about 80% of the assets and I would have to scramble and get a job upon his death. I'd be screwed. It feels like our vows were a farce as I'm merely his wife to care for him (his kids won't be nursing him on his death bed for sure). I feel deceived as he purposely hid this from me when we got married. We will be getting a large life insurance policy on him if he doesn't change things around. I'm just angry that I found out this way.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:42 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • And who is going to take care of him if he has a stroke? Who will feed him if he can't feed himself? Who will change his diapers and bedpan if he is bedridden. Certainly not his kids.Who will sleep by his side every night? Who will be there through every up and down his life holds in these next years? Certainly that deserves some sort of compensation. Not an obligatory parting gift and consolation prize for my troubles.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • I would not be angry!! It sounds like you you went through a lot of trouble after only a YEAR of marriage to go digging to find this out....WOW.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Not sure, I am putting the situation in my own personal shoes. You should definitely talk with him but if he is not willing to set something aside you will have to take care of your own financial situation and either get a job or find financial security elsewhere.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:37 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

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