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Im stuck in a life that everyone else made for me!

I met my husband when I was 13 and he was 15. We dated for 3 yrs when we got engaged. We got married just after I turned 17. I wish I could go back in time and slap myself. I love him and he is perfect! There is no other reason for me to leave except I need to live my life. I have only dated one other guy. I have only been "out" with my gf a few time, I missed out on all the high school fun and I even gave up basketball for him. This is a small town and everyone just loved the thought of us getting married and having children. I want to go out and live like everyone else. I had to sneak off to the club when my husband wasnt home. I just wanted to dance. I had never been out like that. Everything I do revolves around him. I was thinking about leaving but then realized that I have nothing without him. No car, money (I am a sahm), no place to stay. What do I do? I cant tell him how I feel! Does anyone have a time machine?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:52 PM on Nov. 13, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • you say you love him. .. there is nothing wrong with doing things by yourself from time to time (though sneaking behind his back is kinda sleazy in my mind). ..sit down talk to him. Let him know you love him & all but sometimes you need to do things with friends. . .& as for not dating a lot.. who cares? theres more to life then having a huge number of dates or men you slept with. My DH is the only man I"ve really dated. *shrugs*.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:57 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Your life didn't happen to you no one made you chose as you did. You chose your life. You can whine about how it is not what you want it to be or you can make it the life you want. We all have dreams and plans but sometimes they change. You can go to school, get a job and do things for yourself. You have chosen not to. The past is the past you cannot change it you can only shape your future. You sound very self centered. Be a woman and talk to your husband. Let him know how you are feeling and that you need to do something different that is all your own. Pick up a hobby get out make some friends. Don't destroy your marriage work on it make it the marriage you want. You are the reason kids should not get married.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:58 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Unfortunately no time machine,just choices.You can decide to leave and believe it or not you can make it without him.Maybe enroll in college or check with your social services department.Or if you want to stay and work things out maybe go through counseling at least for yourself.Have you talked with him about this and the way that you feel?
    Nattiesmom9603

    Answer by Nattiesmom9603 at 7:59 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • So many women experience this. I have family members that have gone through it as well. The one thing that you DONT want to do is live your life behind his back and he accidently stumbles across you doing so. Maybe you should start off doing small things like taking classes...thats a sign of independency as well as gives you something to fall on. Start going to the gym and playing basketball. Maybe incorporate your husband into some of the things that you feel the urge to do and that way you will build up his confidence in you doing it on your own without having to do it behind his back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:10 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • He just says that he dont want a wife that goes out on the weekends. Im not saying I want to go out and party. I want to go out with the girls. He knows that. He for some reason wants to spend every minute with me. I am with my son 24/7 and I need a break. I do photography on the side but when it comes to me doing that job he wont watch my son. He dont clean up after himself and I am tired of being a maid/nanny!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:11 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Tell him you want to experience life. You can do that with him. Who else would you dance with anyway? Just tell him you want to have some fun so you don't feel like life is passing you by.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:39 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • Ask him to lighten up & take you out dancing. Spend time as a couple. i hate to say this but you bought thsi on yourself. Whay get married at 17?? What were you thinking. Get a job & self esteem, grow up.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:32 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

  • No, you are not. You are in a life you created for yourself. This is your life, get used to it. Now, time to act like a grown up woman get ahold of yourself, be responsible and accountable and realize your own actions. If you want to change your life, do it. Nobody is holding you back or preventing you from doing anything, nor did they force you into a prearranged marriage. The walls are only in your own head, make a decision today as to when you are going to start living your life and stop blaming anyone or anything else.
    jewjewbee

    Answer by jewjewbee at 10:38 PM on Nov. 13, 2009

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