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how do i deal with my boyfriend's ex girlfriend

my boyfriend and his son's mother are drivin my crazy i dont know what to do.his son lives with us and she has to see him on sundays but its with one of us she is not a loud to see him alone court order.my boyfriend dont want to do it caue she calls my up and starts things and saids they just messed around.she wants to see him at her house and i dont want her here

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carebear101

Asked by carebear101 at 10:35 AM on Nov. 14, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (4)
  • Well if she wants to see him at her house and you don't want her at your's then why not let her take him to her house, she is his mother. Has she done things that makes it not okay for him to be alone with her. I wouldn't jeopardize the child just because I didn't like her and she starts problems. But if you or your SO don't see her hurting him or letting him see things he shouldn't then just let him spend Sundays at her house. Sounds like it would be easier for everyone. IF it is something like that that doesn't let her see him alone then have someone else supervise the visit. Someone who doesn't care either way, like a grandparent,aunt,uncle or really close friend.
    I wish you the best of luck. I know it is hard to deal with SO's exes.
    BlainesMommy09

    Answer by BlainesMommy09 at 10:39 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Legally she is not allowed to be alone with him and your boyfriend does not want to be around her? Then you need to set up visitation with a social worker. I am surprised they have not already done that. I would not do as the previous poster suggested and allow her to take the child. She could harm the child and your boyfriend would as liable breaking the court order. A mediator of some sort is needed. You are not his wife only a girlfriend so he should be handling this himself. I would tell him his kid his ex he has to deal with it. Frankly I don't know why you would want that drama.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:18 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • If your bf does not want to see her, or want her at his house then he should talk to the court and see what can be done for visitation. I don't know if this would be an option or not- but could he meet her somewhere public (like chuck e cheese, a park) that way he is not alone with her, and she can still see the child? As for her messing with you, I think she is jelous cause he moved on, and she is trying to cause trouble.Your bf needs to tell her to cut it out and let you alone. Your best bet is to ignore her (hard to do I know). Cause if you react or respond she will know it bothers you and keep doing it.
    Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 11:51 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • ok this is what you do. Keep visitations public place like McDonald's or the mall. she most likely will be on her best behavior around you and in public you can also bring a friend of yours along. there isn't anything saying you can't bring a witness to the visitation. Do this until you can make a court arrangement the two of them need to grow up and deal with this like adults and not put you in the middle of this. your bf needs to contact social services not you since this is his issue and see if there is a way you guys can have a supervised visit with a social worker. basically you guys drop off the kid at a social service place and they do the visit she will leave and 20 minutes you guys pick kid up. that's how my friend had her son father visit.


    amanda_23

    Answer by amanda_23 at 6:47 AM on Aug. 5, 2010

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