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Will I ever find someone to love my son and I?

My X told me that no one wants to be with a single woman with baggage and if they do want to be with me, I will ruin them and turn them agaisnt me because of the way I am.

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:50 AM on Nov. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (16)
  • Ignore him. Exes do that to try to bring you down and make you stay, or just to make you feel like crap. Yes, when the time is right, and the right man comes along, he will love you and your son. I've been getting involved with a new man recently, and I actually asked him last night why he hasn't run away screaming (my kids were a little out of control last night), and his response was, "the thought crossed my mind, but some things are worth it." Absolutely melted my heart. And someday, you will find a man who thinks that you, and your son, are worth it. Don't let your ex convince you otherwise.

    Answer by tropicalmama at 10:52 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Aw rats. He is a jerk. He is just trying to cut you down for his own ego trip. Don't believe him. See yourself through your eyes and not through the eyes of someone who despises you. Make a list of the good things about yourself. If there are negative things, then write them down and consider if you can change them. ... such as, you don't wash the dishes until the next morning- then you start washing the dishes the night before- this is a silly example, but there ya go. Smile, make friends. Even male friends- aim for making friends and not for finding a lover or husband. If you are relaxed and don't act needy, it is possible that someone will come along. Meanwhile, learn about yourself - your own interests and skills, and grow and be a complete person on your own with your child.

    Answer by Bmat at 10:56 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Nice guy.

    Don't listen to him. You don't need to find someone to love you and your son. You love your son. Right now you need to worry about being a single mother and that is a big enough of a job. You don't need to worry about other relationships right now.

    Run don't walk away from this creep. If he is the father of your child file for custody and child support.

    If men don't want women with children then why are there so many men that marry women with children?

    Answer by Gailll at 10:57 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I just got married and I have more baggage than the local airport. My husband loves me and my son as his very own. Yes, it is possible to find someone to love you both and for you to love in return.

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 11:04 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I had 3 children when I met the Love of my Life! Don't give up hope, but also remember you want someone to add to your life, not because you need them, but because you want them.. If you are happy on your own, stable, and confident, then that's who you will attract. It took me a while to find my best friend, but I think it was because once I realized I could handle things on my own,and I was content with my life , that's when he came along... He's my best friend.
    You will find that guy, when you least expect it. Also remember that you're a package deal, not a baggage deal! Children aren't baggage, they're blessings!!

    Answer by MrsLeftlane at 11:07 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • You do already have someone that loves your son and you. You love you guys. You don't need a man to do that for you. Live your life be your own woman complete yourself when you do that you will meet a wonderful man who is also a complete and whole person and you guys will have a great life. You sound desperate and that is not a good mindset to have when looking for a life mate. You will find love but remember you already have it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I am not desperate but I just want to know that there is hope for this single mom.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:21 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Oh, and I never meant to suggest that children were "baggage", lol. They are a gift and a blessing, I just meant the emotional trauma of having someone die suddenly, being married to an alcoholic, not so great childhood, yada-yada-yada.........that's my baggage.

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 11:21 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Do not listen to him. You will find someone. I did. It did not work out. I have two kids one is 11 & the other 13. I'm still looking. Men do date women with kids. You find him least when you expect it.

    Answer by seashore29 at 11:29 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • My hubby used to say the same things to me. Now, I knw that I am special and u should feel that same way, that some someone is out there to love you and your son. Someone thats even better than the last.

    Answer by MIXED at 12:18 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

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