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Will you tell me I did the right thing?

This happened a long time ago, and I guess I just want to get it off of my chest. A friend of mine who I really enjoyed hanging out with got into a fight with her boyfriend because he drank too much. The boyfriend started calling me up, mostly to tell me how much he missed her and to ask how he can get her back. During the first call he was drunk and he told me to come over but I said "no" and I never went. When he called I told him that she still loved him and that he had to quit drinking if he wanted her back. He finally quit drinking and they got back together, but then I found out that he told her that I was calling him during their separation and trying to be with him! I was upset because it was the other way around, AND we had only ever talked about her and how much she loves him anyway. I think he was trying to cover his own tail in case I ever told her that he tried to get me to come over there. Cont.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Nov. 14, 2009 in Just for Fun

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • You did the right thing. She would've still chosen him anyway. I commend you for keeping this too yourself. I'm not sure if I could've been that decent of a person.
    WindyTheWidow

    Answer by WindyTheWidow at 1:00 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • OP here-
    So I never told her the truth. I never told her that all we talked about was her and I never tried to clear my own name because they got back together and I didn't want to make her have to choose between believing me or believe the man who is now her husband. I didn't want to put her in that positon and I didn't want to make her doubt him. He's cleaned up and is a different person now, but we are not close and I doubt we ever will be again. I sacrificed my own name for them and neither will ever know. It kind of stinks for me. I guess I just want to know that I did the right thing. I am posting anon because I keep this a secret from almost everyone.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I think you did the right thing, but it's too bad that you lost a good friend.
    Summersmom360

    Answer by Summersmom360 at 12:40 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • You did the right thing, why do you feel you had to post anonymously? I am worried about him. I think he is trying to make her jealous so that she will not leave him again no matter if he drinks. She should have enough self respect to say NO MORE. You are more mature by stepping up to the plate. I would set up a meeting with both and let them know that you want the truth out on the table as you don't want to be given a name. Make sure they both understand that you are friends. Friends do not lie to friends. You do not have an interest in her boyfriend.  I would have her think twice about staying with him because he LIED.  Make sure when you all meet you need to say "You lied to her about what we talked about while you were not together. You are doing this so that she will never leave you again". If she sides w/him then she was never your friend. If she sides w/you she is a true friend. Let him know not to call.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:08 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I would have told her how it really was. But, she may not have believed you. If it were my good friend, she would have believed me. Some women are different though, and don't believe anything any other woman says. It sucks that it had to be this way.
    SAMNMAYASMOM

    Answer by SAMNMAYASMOM at 1:30 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • YOU DID RIGHT-- TO BAD AT A COST- BUT YOUR NOT CLOSE,AND EVEN IF YOU DID TELL HER,YOU MIGHT HAVE LOST HER FREINDSHIP ANYWAY. LET HER THINK WHATEVER, HE WILL SHOW HIS TRUE COLORS, THEN SHE WILL DEAL WITH HIM THEN..(KARMA). I ALSO WENT THROUGH SOMETHING LIKE THIS. ONE DAY THE TRUTH WILL COME OUT
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:00 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I'm not going to have a sit down with them and I'm not going to tell her what happened. The only reason he lied is because he thought that I would tell her that he asked me to come over so he wanted to get his story out first. I actually don't think he really knows what was said in that first conversation because he was so drunk. I think he was trying to cover his butt. He has since quit drinking, he hasn't had a drop in three years or more - obviously this happened a long time ago. I know that he really does love my friend and they are a great couple as long as he isn't drinking. I believe I did the right thing. The only reason I posted this is because I have been keeping it silent for so long, I just wanted to tell someone. I figured saying it anon on the internet was pretty harmless.

    Thank you all for your answers. I really do appreciate it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:05 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

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