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Would you agree with me or am I being too paranoid?

My ss does not live with us. About one year ago he started to get into the girls now, a yr. later he really like this girl and she asked if she can come stay for the wkend with us...In my mind I don't like the idea but since it is my dh's son I was like aaahhh! if she comes and you guys behave yourselves but my dh said it was ok and as long as they just hang out it is ok no messing around and when it is time for bed it is time for bed. He told him he doesn't want to wake up and see this girl with his arm around him. My ss ok I don't want to lose your trust. But I still don't like the idea he only comes over on the weekends, and some holidays.
At this point there is nothing I can do but pray about it. What kind of parent let's her kid stay away from home that long 15 yrs. of age. Has time really changed that much with all this tecnology, I know I didn't have that luxury staying over at a guy's house...I mean if u rely like hm


Asked by Anonymous at 1:48 PM on Nov. 14, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I have a 14yr old daughter and i would not allow her to stay at boys home or him here. to much can happen while you are a sleep and it only takes a second to do something. but i may be a over protective parent but i would rather be safe then sorry later.

    Answer by mandynjohnsmom at 10:11 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I stayed at boys houses that lived in other cities when I was 14 and 15 and I'm 53. I don't think it has anything to do with technology. It may be culture.

    I knew people that lived in other cities. My family camped and we met a lot of people. I was also active in scouting.

    I didn't loose my virginity until I was 18 and engaged. He lived a mile away.

    Answer by Gailll at 1:53 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • There is nothing wrong with her coming for the weekend, this is a chance for her to meet you and your DH, and get to know you. as long as they are sleeping seperately, her parents and you have talked and are comfortable with each other then I dont see any issue.

    I dont see how this has anything to do with technology, many parents when i was a kid would invite their teens bf/gf to go camping or on family trips for weekends. All the parents involved had open communication with each other and I feel it is good for teens to do things like this especially when you consider they are in a supervised situation its not as if they are renting a motel room alone somewhere.

    Answer by 3_ring_circus_ at 2:10 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • i dont think theres anything wrong with that, i stayed at my boyfriends house when i was 15 & we were having sex. at least we werent out on the streets!

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 3:03 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • maybe they could sleep in seperate rooms, and you could always get up for a drink every now and then to check on them

    Answer by AngieAvila at 4:44 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I hope that someone had the banana and condom talk with them..

    Answer by rkoloms at 6:09 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Being the mom to a 16 yo dd I know how you feel. And it really comes down to trust and honesty. This is the time for talking and making sure they are safe and smart. Make sure they both know what is expected of them and what will not be allowed. Make sure he knows that if he screws this up all bets are off. I would hope the girls parents have done the same on their side. Me I have a hard time with it, but after many many conversations I am to a place where I need to trust that what she tells be is the truth, so far so good. I would hope that since he is only with you on weekends his mom knows what is going on.
    Good luck.

    Answer by wallmom1 at 6:30 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Wow - no way would I let that happen under my roof. No girls staying over, until marriage. And I have step-kids 18, 17, and 12. So we've had to put our foot down about a few things.

    Answer by DaphneMae at 7:36 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Co-ed sleep overs are not a problem as long as there is STRONG supervision, and the kids are on opposite sides of the home at bedtime. Girls in livingroom, boys in bedroom, with adults in livingroom or den.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 11:36 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I stayed at boys house and we all slept in the same room to. I didn't have sex. For the first time I did I was pissed at my mom and thought I was in love. It happened when I was home from school with a concussion. So just the staying over isn't a concern. He may be telling the truth about not wanting to betray your trust. My kids will be allowed to have guys over to sleep though I wont be as lenient and it wont be in the same room or until they turn 16. Though it might change depending on my kids. However they will not go to guys houses to stay the night I don't know I can trust those parents. To keep my kids safe. I also know though no matter what if they want to have sex they will!!!

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 2:10 AM on Nov. 15, 2009