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Did I make the right choice? What would you have done?

I broke up with my alcoholic boyfriend a couple months ago, now all I keep hearing is how he misses me so much and loves me so much, that he wants to be with me. I didn't just break up with him because I'm a cold hearted b*tch. When he was drunk, he would call me really bad names (c*nt, worthless mom, fake, etc) (I understand alcholism is a disease & words shouldn't be taken seriously), he would put down my parenting skills, family (drunk & sober), he would break plans and promises and only be around for 3 days out of the week. Where I drew the line and decided to end it for good is when he told me while intoxicared that my son was a bastard (my son is from another man), an illigitament child, stupid (he gotta from me he said) & childish (he's 5). This abuse went on for a year (son was brought up this last time, not before) I know people can change and people make mistakes, he begs & others stick up for him so I feel wrong.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 2:25 PM on Nov. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • You made the right decision. Until he stops drinking and gets help with his anger issues, he will not be good to you or your son. And you never know if it would escalate to something worse. I do not think you should go back to him. Not until he's better, anyway. And that can take a very long time.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 2:31 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Do what is best for you and your child. Men are everywhere it is just the matter of finding that right one.
    He has to prove to you he is willing to change big time. Live your life and when you feel he has made that change then you decide what YOU want to do. GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 2:40 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • You made the right decision and let me tell you, my dad was an alcoholic. He went to rehab and whatnot, and then relapsed and died before he could sober up again. It was sad, I was sad, but its been 8 years and its really a relief at this point in my life I don't have to deal with it.Being a drunk is not an excuse. it's not an excuse to be abusive, its not an excuse to demean other people, its not an excuse. Yes it's a disease, I get that, but its not an excuse. Words hurt, they damage and they wound. YOU DO NOT AND SHOULD NOT EVER (I repeat) EVER have to put up with that. Leave him gone. My dad did this to my mom time and time again. They were married for 9 years, he was a hardcore drunk 8 of those 9 years. She'd leave, "I love you, our children i'll change i'll pay bill's i'll keep a job, etc." he'd start the process, be better for a few months...and BOOM right back to the same crap

    don't be a sucker.

    Answer by moonbutterfly at 2:54 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • people can change but if i were you i would go in to this very cautionsly first time he gets drunk and mean cut off all contact i mean if hes really going to stay sober and you love him then try and make it work but dont ever put yourself in a stuation where you are dependant on him for anything that way you can always leave if you need to

    Answer by jajamama at 4:12 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • you waited too long to end it , cuz i wouldnt have let anybody treat my son bad , not even his own father , althought ik da this guy isnt ur kid's father , since u said it . im a mom b4 a woman . yes , people does change but i can assure u da if u go back to him he'll eventually return to be the same horrible guy he is . he sure may miss you , after all , he knows wut kind of mom/woman u really r , a good one of course .
    he is not entitled to judge u as a mom or person , and ur son may resent him for being like da , not only to his mom but to him too . there's 100s of good guys out there , why risk your happinnes n ur sons by going back to him ? ur son may resent you later on for getting back with this ruthless , heartless man . n ik that alcholism is bad , but ppl r more than aware to seek help , n they just dont do it cuz they dont want to n simply put their wants before they ppl they r suppose to give a priority to family

    Answer by happymom1988 at 4:15 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • That is the alcoholics are. I am married to one. Their behavior is all similar and it will not stop. They have to choose to stop drinking. Don't listen to empty promises, that is all they will ever be. You don;t need him setting that example for your son. Look up 'the merry-go round named denial. It is a brochure put out by AA. It will really help you and is available on line for free.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:09 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

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