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BC talk to our son.

No I am not obsessed with this topic, I just have kids at this age. I was talking to my cousin yesterday.

She has girls I have boys and girls. My son's G/F's mom has provided chemical BC for her daughter. At first my cousin said she saw no problem because it is normally the girl's mom that has to raise a grand kid in this situation.

I asked my cousin how she would feel if the boy's parents provided condoms, spermicide ect for them. How would she feel if found out the boy's mom prepared him to have sex with her daughter. However, we both agreed the kids need to be educated.

Is BC talk with boys different than with girls? If you have taught your daughter to abstain and found her b/f was prepared to be protected would you be upset with the mom? I see premarital sex as a sin, but chemical BC can cause abortion and does not stop disease, what is my responsibility as other to a boy vs my girls?


Asked by Kattykitten at 4:25 PM on Nov. 14, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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This question is closed.
Answers (16)
  • I have boys and girls and the talk is different because the responsibilities and ramifications of sex aredifferent for each. The girl will have to carry and give birth. The boy loses all control over the process once the girl becomes pregnant. The girl if she aborts or gives the baby up for adoption will have to live with the emotional ramifications of her decisions. If she keeps the baby she will be the primary caretaker and will be doing it largely alone since it is unlikely she will marry the father of the baby. The boy will have to wait for the girl to decide to either kill his child or allow his child to live. If she allows the child to live he will then either have to allow her to give the child up or will have to begin supporting that child and being a visitor in his own childs life.

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:10 AM on Nov. 15, 2009

  • The same. We educated our sons as we did our Daughter. As I have one each that are adults. I can tell you it's harder on the boys then the girls.

    Answer by oldermomof5 at 4:30 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I had a boy and a girl, they got the same talk, and usually together. I wanted them to be fully aware of the other person, and not be so shy about talking about it, or embarrassed. The "scientific/medical" talk was easy. That's pretty textbook. More important to teach them, at least to me, was the emotional impact that sex has on both people. The effect that has. Because we were all so open to talk about it, and reasons to wait....they at least waited until college.

    Answer by EireLass at 4:45 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • No I would not be upset, because at least they are using protection. Yes premarital sex is wrong but just as wrong as lying, or coveting or setting God aside for whatever we want. We ar all guilty and all of us have different challenges. Is the talk different from boys to girls I don't know mine are still 2 and under lol. I never got the sex talk I just learned from my friends becase my mom *I think* thought that if she didn't talk about it it would never be an issue. We need to discuss things with our children because if they don't hear it from us they will hear it from their friends and the internet.

    Answer by rhanford at 4:48 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • No, i wouldnt be upset. If a mother wants to get her daughter birth control, thats none of your business & nothing to upset about wether its your sons girlfriend or not. and cmon lady .. get with the times. do you really think its realistic to try and make your kids wait until they are married to have sex? not only is it not realistic, but its stupid. Thank god this girls mom is normal or else youd probably have a grandkid pretty soon.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 4:52 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • My kids are not at that age yet, but I have both boys and girls and we will be giving them the same talk about bc. I would not be upset if my kids's bf or gf's mom was also having the talk, or was providing birth control. Sure it would be nice if they would wait, but if they are going to have sex I would rather they used protection. I want them to get the info from me rather than from sources that may give them false information. I don't feel that giving them information is 'giving them permission'- realistically teenagers will make decisions and we may agree with some and not with others. I would rather they had good information to make those decisions with.
    The only place I will differ with my kids in terms of gender is I will talk to my girls more about the birth control pill and how it works. Both my mom and I ended with fertility issues coming off the bcp so there is family history that the girls need to know.

    Answer by Freela at 4:56 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Hmm . . . good question. I only have girls. But we will not be putting them on BC or giving them the gardasil shot or anything. BC pills make girls MORE likely to contract a permanent STD.

    I am going to teach my DD that there is not such thing as safe sex. Condoms are the most natural option, but still not safe.

    Part of growing up is learning how to make good choices. She needs to know that if she wants to have sex she is risking her fertility, health, emotional wellbeing, spiritual walk, etc.

    If she wants to that is her choice. I hope she picks a virgin, who loves her, uses a condom, and is monogamous. But I am not going to pretend like I am "helping" her when I am only making it more likely that she will get hurt.

    And yes, I would be a little upset if her BF's parents were giving him all his sex tools. Because I would know that her BF will be trying to have sex with her, even if she isn't ready.

    Answer by Cinnamon-mom at 5:18 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Purpulbutterfly: I didn't have sex til I was married. It's not stupid or non-realistic.

    Kattykitten: No, I wouldn't be upset. Besides, boys/men need to take responsibility for these things too. I know we would rather our children not have sex before they are married, but sometimes it happens and we would want them to be safe.



    Answer by Anonymous at 5:20 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • purplebutterfly: I have heard testimonies of boys asked if they were a virgin.. one lied and said no and the other didnt and said Yes and I am proud of it... people who heard about it came up to the honest boy and said they wished they kept theirs.

    My son is 15 and has kept his and is proud of it. That IS reality. It is NOT realistic to have sex young... it messes you up more than you realize

    Purity is not some game to play with. It is to be respected and honored!

    Answer by Shaneagle777 at 5:31 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I guess I am not the norm :-) if a boy showed up to take my daughter out armed with condoms I think I would lose it. lol

    This is a topic i don't think there is a one size fits all answer.

    Answer by Kattykitten at 5:34 PM on Nov. 14, 2009