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why is waiting for marriage a crazy idea?

I remember in college there were many couples having sex and many kids who decided for religious, moral and personal reasons they are not going to have a sexual relation. Many of these kids said they are going to wait until they are out of college or at least engaged.

Why is waiting and not giving yourself up like a two dollar piece of meat a foreign concept to some people? It does happen, I know people who wait. What does it say about our society when we believe our kids can't control their sex drive?

Don't tell me waiting doesn't happen I know it happens. Being repeatedly told by our parents and other adults we can't or won't wait will push us to treat our bodies like meat and not with respect.


Asked by Anonymous at 5:44 PM on Nov. 14, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

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Answers (27)
  • Waiting is not the equivalent of not using birth control.

    I waited AND had my medical appointments all done in time to have BC in action by the wedding night.

    It was an awesome wedding night - very special!

    And anyone that thinks you need to "test drive" doesn't get that marriage is also a commitment to learn how to sexually please each other. Sure things were awkward at first, but after 5 years of practice, we know exactly how to get each other to have a very pleasurable experience...and it was fun learning together.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:53 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I think it would have been so special if I waited. But I have dd now and wouldnt have it any other way. I thnk its immature thinking that waiting doesnt exist or can be done.

    Answer by Steph319 at 5:48 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • There's nothing wrong with waiting until you are married to have sex if that is what someone chooses.

    I think what most people get irritated with, is the coments that may be attached to the suggestion of abstinence such as "not giving yourself up like a $2 piece of meat." This assumes that anyone who is sexually active before marriage is promiscuous or sexually deviant in some way, which isn't fair or a kind thing to say. There are many people who are in healthy, monogomous, sexually active relationships that are not married. I think the generalizations that are often made about people who do not wait until marriage are what people have a problem with--not someone's choice of waiting itself. I don't think people like that generalization being made any more than you like being told "waiting doesn't happen."

    Kids breaking chastity vows is a possible reality. Nothing wrong with parents discussing that.

    Answer by NovemberLove at 5:52 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • im sure there are people who do wait, and i think thats great. if i could go back, i might of waited too! what i think is crazy is when parents think they are going to be able to force there children to wait and dont want to get them birth control because they are so intent on having their children wait. you cant make decisions like that for your children and i dont know about everyone else, but i started thinking about sex & getting horny when i was 11. thats a long time to wait. especially in a society where sex is everywhere. i also think that, sex can be a pretty important part of a relationship and i dont know if i would want to marry someone before i knew what it was like having sex with them.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 5:55 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • and just because you dont wait till your married, doesnt mean you are giving your self a way like a two dollar piece of meat. you dont have to be a whore or a man whore to have sex before your married. its a natural, normal thing that alot of people cant help but want to do.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 5:56 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I don't see the harm in waiting. I think it is great. My husband and I have only been with each other. . Neither one of us feels like we missed out on anything by not having multiple sex partners before. We waited because we wanted to wait for the person we loved and wanted to spend the rest of our lives with.

    I do not think any less of people who didn't wait however. I just think that people need to get the idea that waiting is stupid or unrealistic out of their head.


    Answer by iLove.nml at 5:57 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • My husband and I both waited. It's not a crazy idea at all. Just incredibly difficult! It was one of the hardest things I've ever done (him too). I know of a few couples who waited.

    However, I was not ready to be a Mommy and I decided I would not have sex until I KNEW I was ready to be a Mom. I'm not a lucky person and I would have ended up pregnant. I was scared to death of being a Mom and not being "ready." We finished up our degrees and we were married a month later..haha..Therefore, we knew that we could probably find jobs that would support any kids we might have.

    Just so you know, I"ve tried for a baby twice in my life. Both times, I got pregnant the FIRST try. So yeah, having sex early likely would have meant I would have been a Mommy before I was ready. I'm SO glad we waited. Was the first time bad? Haha...yes..about 20 seconds of pain. But I wouldn't trade it for anything and sex is great now!

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:57 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • And I agree with NovemberLove as well/

    Answer by iLove.nml at 5:58 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I didn't wait and I wish I would have. I think one of the main reasons I went ahead and gave in to my boyfriend was because of the whole "Everyone is doing it" mentality. It was like, "Okay, I might as well."

    I think that maybe if more people were being honest, that "Everyone is NOT doing it" I might have had more courage to just wait.

    Answer by Cinnamon-mom at 6:05 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • There is nothing immoral about having sex before marriage. People tend to forget that not everyone follows a religious path. I do give kudos to those who wait, but they don't deserve a medal or anything. It's a personal choice, plain and simple.

    Answer by NightPhoenix at 6:08 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

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