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Moving to Germany?

BM has had very little to do with DSS in the last 2+ years. She has only visited him 3 times. She never pays child support or her share of the costs. She never sends him gifts for any reason. She has moved from Montana, to Illinois, to Arkansas and then to California all within the last year. Now that she lives in California she has a job ...working in the carnival. She went 7 MONTHS without even calling him and has plans to come visit him in JUNE when her current job takes her up to our area. ...that will be 1 year and 9 or so months sense her visit before that.

DH has full legal and physical custody. Pays for everything. And even while he was deployed had weekly, if not daily, phone calls and fairly regular web cams. He is back in Germany now.

What do you think are our chances of joining him?

(i re-posted this question here because i know you R&B regulars well ...i think. lol)

 
outstandingLove

Asked by outstandingLove at 6:41 PM on Nov. 14, 2009 in Religion & Beliefs

Level 20 (9,136 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • I really hope it works out for you. I would hate for you to miss out on this wonderful opportunity!
    ave.maria.

    Answer by ave.maria. at 8:21 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Is he stationed in Germany? If he has full custody (court ordered) then it shouldn't be a problem at all. Talk to a jag lawyer or have your dh do it.

    Germany is AWESOME. I miss it. Hope it works out for you. It is a GREAT place to raise little ones, too.
    ave.maria.

    Answer by ave.maria. at 6:45 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I think if she's the vengeful kind or just wants to be hurtful she will throw a stinkbomb and cause you a lot of issues with moving to be with your DH in Germany.

    I think if she just doesnt care about anything then you may be alright.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 6:46 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Contact your attorney... but I don't see any reason why you won't get permission to leave with him... , but plz talk to an attorney first... you want to make sure that you have all of your ducks in a row... and nothing can come back on you and your dh...
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 6:52 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • ave.marie
    a jag lawyer will not talk with us because we already have a lawyer. And EVERYTHING is court ordered. she's not even supposed to move without informing the courts. which we know she is not doing.

    Amaranth
    she is the vengeful type and already stopped us from moving to Germany before. BUT we might have gotten her to change her tune. She does not have enough money for a lawyer and lots of court days. ...we do.

    gmasboy.
    we have an appointment with our lawyer on the 20th but i am asking ladies here on CM because DH and i are wavering in our confidence of her. She does not seem to have much experience with military and child custoyd.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 8:05 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I love Germany but it's expensive. 


    Normally you would need BM's consent but I not sure how that works if your dh has full custody.  I suggest finding an immigration lawyer, s/he will be able to tell you what documentation you will need.  Good luck:)

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 8:54 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I hope you can get the lawyers to do their job and fix it so you can be with your DH...as a family should be.
    Amaranth361

    Answer by Amaranth361 at 8:58 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Thank you ladies. DS hasn't lived with his daddy sense he was 1 years old ...and he turns 4 next month.
    I've been with him for over 2 years and married for just over 1 and we've never had the chance to live together.
    Moving to Germany would mean the world to us as a family. It's all we want.
    outstandingLove

    Answer by outstandingLove at 9:22 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • gmasboy.
    we have an appointment with our lawyer on the 20th but i am asking ladies here on CM because DH and i are wavering in our confidence of her. She does not seem to have much experience with military and child custoyd.
    **************************************************************************************
    Good... You want to make sure that YOU get the courts permission to move... I have the same type of custody as you do and I still have to contact the courts if we to move... tho he is our grandson only, it makes it a bit harder bc we have to contact both parents and at times is extremely hard to do...
    I am sure that as long as the courts sees no issues and since the BM hasn't been active in his life for many yrs, you should not have a problem...
    Good Luck and plz let us know how it all turns out for you...
    gmasboy

    Answer by gmasboy at 10:49 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • She may sing a different tune once she knows you want to move. I know it may be a horrible thing for your Ds however, you are very fortunate not to have to deal with the bad experience that can sometimes come of having a real mom in your busineess all day and going back and forth on how you should raise her son. If i were you i'd speak to a lawyer first to get good advice on this. but on the other hand it actually seems to me that she wouldn't have a problem with it being that she is constant in moving away from him. Did the judge specify in the custody order that the parent can't move? first be clear on that.. then take it from there.. could be the difference on whether you have to tell her before the move..or just notify her after the move.
    Aasiyah

    Answer by Aasiyah at 5:05 AM on Nov. 15, 2009