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Is it wrong for me to want to live for me now instead of a man?

I will be 24 years old in Dec. Sense I was 16 I have been in a realtionship and ALWAYS putting the man first. My first real relationship lasted 4 years. Two weeks after we broke up I met my husband. We are no married and have a 14 month old son that is the LOVE of my life! Well, I have always put my husnbad first. His job, his fishing, his softball, his basketball and I was perfectly ok with it. But, sense he had is verbal affair I have felt like a different person. I would have never done that to him. Is it wrong for me to want to put myself first now? I am tired of putting a man first. I kinda just wanna be on my own and take care of myself and my son. Go to school have firends and live my life for me. Is it totally wrong that I feel that way? I am very confused lately!

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Asked by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Nov. 14, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • First step, never live for anyone else. Taking care of you will take care of the people around you. Even your children. Nurture your goals, hobbies, entertainment to make you a better you.

    Second, it sounds like you are really hurt by what your husband did (rightfully so!) and have not forgiven him. You need to decide whether you want to pursue healing with him. Just because you stay married doesn't mean things have to go back the way the are. You can still refocus on your life and not cater 100% to your husband. You should actually be catering to and nurturing EACH OTHER so the relationship is not one sided.

     I don't think its "wrong" to feel the way you do. I just don't recommend going out and doing it all without the thought process of knowing what you want to do with your marriage.


    Answer by MamaChamp at 10:36 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • You live for you and your children. Not anyone else. The man should have been taking care of you and putting you first

    Answer by firethearson at 10:42 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • No it's not wrong. I did it and never regretted it.

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:43 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • I don't think it is wrong at all. It is probably what you NEED to do. Kids can sense their parents awkward situations and their emotions. I would do it if I was you...some guys like to think they have you right where they want you and once they think they do they'll run around on you. So just don't ever get settled and let him think you care more about him than you do yourself!

    Answer by babychappellmom at 11:26 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

  • Try it and see where it takes you you sound like a very independent lady...go for it. GL

    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 11:51 PM on Nov. 14, 2009

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